Unwell

"I'm sorry I cannot eat," she said, "Please don't blame me".

I sat alone at the table, and looked at the box of sushi I had just rushed outside to buy. I thought she would be hungry. Instead, she looked frail, and earlier was complaining that she felt like throwing up. Who can blame her? We had just driven 3 hours in the pouring rain to go see dad in the mountains, and the journey made me feel unwell too. Imagine what it must feel like for mum, who just completed her latest chemo treatment.

Yesterday she seemed alright, and I thought with each passing day she would feel better. But it seems to get worse before it gets better. She said the inside of her throat is again torn because of the chemo, so it hurts when she swallows.

Moments like this make me feel sick and unable to eat ... how can I when mum is feeling sick?