Two weeks

It took almost a week for me to watch "Two Weeks". And it's not because of the moderate reviews that the movie received. It's more the subject matter, which strikes close to home. Literally.

Two weeks may not be a long time, but to many it seems an eternity. Especially to those slowly dying, excruciatingly slow, of cancer. The end is near, the pain is unbearable, the hulicinations are starting, morphine is losing its effect, yet the waiting, the waiting is unbearable. Even more so because it is not only you who waits, but also the whole family who has to watch, wait and wait for that final moment when life is no more.

But two weeks is a period that can bring infinite changes, bring together and bring closer a family that has been spread around, with every one living their separate lives. Two weeks can be a time to bond, to share, to cry, to remember those precious moments of times past, and to rediscover and treasure the bonds that shall never be broken-- despite of the quarrels, disagreements, temperments and set ways of an elder brother wanting to control the young sibling.

I watched the movie in installments. Sometimes it got too overwhelming I had to turn it off. The moment when the mum, dying of cancer, threw up, I had to stop watching. Partly because I was eating, but partly because it reminds me of something that is so painful to remember and experinece....

In the beginning the mum looks well, and is still very conscious of her thoughts and surroundings. Yet, with each paling shade of her face, she loses her battle to cancer... she succumbs to the proliferation of cells that are eating her body from the inside out, that have even manifested themselves onto her back in humps as big as fists.... Painful to see, and even more difficult to digest...

Even in installments, I managed to finish the movie. As scrutiating and as slow as something takes, like life all things come to an end. The moments of light comedy and satire are welcome refuges in a dark and brooding setting of death and final goodbyes. Tears flow and eventually cease, but the memories of those who have gone continue on and on.

I am reminded of my mum, and a dreaded fate that I have just seen in the movie. At least in the movie, the mother was not alone when she passed away. Can I say the same for my mum? Is there anything more painful than dying alone? Is there anything more regretful not being at the side of someone you love and care deeply for when that person disappears from this world?

Again I am confronted with a decision.... should I stay, or should I go? Should I pursue my own interests, should I seek and hope to find the happiness I came to Canada to find, or should I be at my mum's side no matter what?

Will you say when I'm gone away
"My lover came to me and we'd lay
In
rooms unfamiliar but until now"
Oh oh oh oh
Until now
Oh oh oh oh
Until now

Will you say to them when I'm gone
"I loved your son
for his sturdy arms
We both learned to cradle then live without"
Oh oh
oh oh
Live without
Oh oh oh oh
Live without

Will you say
when I'm gone away
'Your fathers body was judgment day
We both dove and
rose to the riverside"
Oh oh oh oh
Riverside
Oh oh oh oh
Riverside

Will you say to me when I'm gone
"Your face has faded
but lingers on
Because light strikes a deal with each coming night"
Oh
oh oh oh
Coming night
Oh oh oh oh
Coming night.