Paddling at John Peenekamp

At a local artists' fair once, some three years back, I bought three little canoes... Two had two people inside, something I thought was very symbolic of two Leopold paddling in the river of life together. I sent one to my brother and sister-in-law, who in the September of 2010, became engaged and would wed in January. The other one, I gave to my ex, as a symbol of our relationship, and with the strong and beautiful hope that we too would paddle through life together, paddle through thick and thin, through difficulties and happiness... It was a gift to remind him of how beautiful we are, and what potential we have together..

I bought three, and the last canoe was a solo kayak. A gift to myself, from myself. Whatever happens in life, are we not alone at the end of the day? Do we not go through much of life alone, unable to fully share our thoughts abd experiences? However strong and beautiful any relationship, it must fade and die. and so it is with all things in life, as the principles of Buddhism teach us. Did I buy that gift for myself, from myself as a potent reminder of this life lesson ?

I'm not sure. but today, as I paddled solo in my kayak I certainly felt it. I alone chose and charted my course, I alone controlled the speed and direction (though at times challenged and almost overturned due to hidden (or perhaps deliberate?) mangrove roots and branches. I got lost at times, a little frightened even as these waters were known for sightings of crocs (not the plastic sandals...). 

But when you just stop moving, when you lut down the paddle and let yourself drift, just drift with the waves, everything becomes so still, and you are one with it all...

I was afraid I would not make it, for my arms were sore and I was perpetually afraid of tipping over and ruining everyithing (most worried, very materalistic of me... Of my new HTC one phone...). And the heat, even though it was afternoon, was searing and the air was so humid.

But I paddled and paddled, followed the buoys and signs in the water, and navigated the little streams that eventually opened up to open water. Seabirds, floating like pleasure boats, greeted me. The horizon was so vast, and the waves become an choppy, making the kayak produce sucking sounds with every up and down motion. I sat still for s while, admired the blue sky and open sea, admired the rocks that have for eons had the furor and gentleness of the sea and wind slap and soothe its faces...

This is life... Steady on... You are on your own, paddling through the unknown and chartering unvisited territory every single day.