Heading home at a quarter past ten. How much did I do? I did what I did, studied till everyone at the office left, bearing the tears, braving possible outbreaks of breakdowns and my mental and physical mind falling apart.
I am somehow again in such a fragile state of mind. Was it the tears that I released yesterday? Was it the empties that were kept so heavily inside (unintentionally, though...). I feel like crying again...
I so long for someone to hold me, to touch me, to kiss me and tell me it'll all be ok.
It is moments like this that I miss mum (and dad) most. Moments when I most need encouragement. Before it was just one phone call and I could hear a reassuring voice. Mum may not fully know what I'm doing here, but at least it was a voice in which I could find solace and love. And that made me stronger, a little bit stronger... Anything, anything to get a semblance of that encouragement and love. I need it now more than ever before... Now to stop the tears from falling again...
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