Another chance

After a series of exchanges by text message, I think both my ex and I calmed down. Nothing can be resolved by texting, and I believe both of us are tired of letting things just drag on unresolved... Perhaps he more than anyone else.

Last night I spoke to a friend whose opinion I've always respected greatly. "You guys have to sit down face to face..." Whatever the resolution, it's necessary to just sit and talk things through. Because that way we will know the other side of the story, that way we will (hopefully soon) know what way this lingering impasse will proceed. After all we've gone through, all the years we've known one another, we owe it to ourselves to talk about things.

So I woke up (a bit too late perhaps...) and had an impulsive urge. To see him. To go to Niagara Falls, where we took our first trip together, where we made beautiful memories just sitting there watching the sun go down and listening to the waters fall.

I know I am disappointed several people by doing this, especially the two good friends who sat with me and comforted me that night when I drank and cried. They'll probably think I'm weak and too weak, and that my ex is manipulative and playing with my heart. But they did say at one point too that none of this is over, and that things will just drag on and on... And I don't want things to drag on and on. O want, I need clarity. Either break off things completely or a whole fresh start.

How will this weekend go? How will the drama between my ex and I, who obviously have strong mutual feelings for one another, unfold?

I hope beautifully, as beautifully as when we fell in love with one another that first time we watched the waters fall.