The “in-laws”

Why I was so nervous? Why should I have been? They’re just the parents of my friend. Granted, parents of my ex-boyfriend, who perhaps still believe we are together. But truth is, we’re not. So why did my heart start to beat  irregularly and my mind go completely blank the moment I heard their voices?

I’m shy talking to strangers, I know, and I have what you might call “phone fright” (fear of talking on the phone…). But I was really struggling to string words and sentences together. I was stuttering, and probably sounded like I’m poorly educated or that my English was poor… which made me even more nervous, because I know from my friend that especially the mother is picky on correct English. My throat just tightened and coherent words and common sense completely escaped me.

I have met both parents before, and my ex says they (seem to?) have a good impression of me (for some reason or another…). They are really lovely people. And when my friend talks about his parents, I listen with great interest, and from time to time, I think of them and wonder how they’re doing. But rarely have I spoken to them. Once or twice, just to say hello, and briefly chat. But this time it seemed to be different.

I wanted to say thank you to them for help they are offering me. For one thing, I need help with some official documentation required for my Canadian permanent residence application. And recently, I’ve been in touch with them via email regarding a “special something” I’m working on. But once on the phone I kind of went blank. Just blank. Blank!

Perhaps they thought I was rude. Perhaps I sounded confused and disjointed. But, truly deep down inside, I was grateful for the help they’re offering me. So grateful I got emotional at one point, which made me probably sound even more incoherent and ridiculous than before… I wished I could have been more collected and been able to make small talk and conversation, but the nervousness choked my words and strangled my thoughts. Probably they are thinking right now “That boy is so strange...”

Was I trying or thinking too hard? Was I trying to “impress” them for some reason? Why did it feel like I was talking to "the in-laws"?

How very silly and ridiculous of me to make myself so nervous and worked up over nothing...