Foolish me?

Am I a fool? Foolish enough to keep on waiting, keep on hoping, and keep on wondering about whether what he and I shared in the past will come back again? 

Am I blinded by emotions, letting my feelings get the better of me, letting emotions take over when my rational side tells me I'm going to get myself into trouble, going to dig myself deep in pain and hurt and longing. 

Why am I still hnging around, hovering around like a butterfly when in fact that flower of our relationship has blossomed and wilted? 

I am a fool to keep on imagining, keep on fantasizing  that that love was real, was true, was going to last when in fact his heart and eyes are wandering and seeking out other pleasures. I promised myself to be faithful, to be true to the other person, to be true and honest to myself. But I cannot expect everyone to do the same. I cannot prevent other people from enjoying fun and living on the spur of the moment, seeking sensual pleasures and indulging in temporary satisfaction. 

I must free myself from the negative influences of being played with, and being led to believe in something false and uncertain. I am no angel, an perhaps I have made the same mistake of letting him believe for a long time that there was hope between us. 

But now I must protect myself, free myself from all this complication, all this fear of loss, from the degrading uncertainty of being placed on hold while he keeps his options and mind open for what he wants....

I must free myself, an let go.