Response

It amazes me how people can over-react sometimes. I'm sure I do it too, especially when in the hit of an exchange when you are caught up in a situation. But I really cannot understand how someone can respond by being defensive and over-reactive when it is their job to be concerned about the welfare of students.

It's a long and somewhat complicated affair, which began last week when I wrote to the associate dean, the person at university who oversees the welfare and academic progress of students. It was a polite email, explaining the circumstances surrounding my mum's health, and how I'd like to take a leave of absence to spend some time with her. I requested to have an appointment with the associate dean, so I could discuss the very personal matter in person.

The response I received was from a secretary, and it was a short and impersonal reply informing me what I need to do to get approval for leave of absence. Whereas I had written to the associate dean about a personal matter, hoping for a reply and an appointment, not only did not get a personal reply, the personal matter had become a public one.

Somewhat dazed at the response, I wrote an email outlining my displeasure about how my case was treated. Sure, at points there were uses of sarcasm to express my displeasure, but I don't think at any point I was rude or accusatory.

Within a few hours, the associate dean who had not even bothered to write a short email to express her understanding of my situation, wrote a long email tearing about every single line of my complaint, and trying to justify why there was no response from her in the first place. No where in the email that outlined her position did she even touch upon the core of why I requested to see her in the first place. No where was there any expression of sympathy (though, that is not what I'm asking for, but any courteous person would know that that is what you offer when someone tells you what personal difficulties they are faced with...)

I'm lost as how I can respond. It does not help to write back with a defensive tone. Perhaps it's all a big miscommunication, especially as it was done through email, and with the involvement of a third party. But really, without wanting to sound like I need pity or wallowing in the problems of my mum's health, how can any person react so harshly and still justify it with everything they can think of to put themselves in the right?