I want to go home

Sunday, two more days till departure. Woke up early, wondering whether brother had any intention of maybe taking us out somewhere and spending some time with us. I even rushed out and made every effort to secure a third bike so perhaps we could take a cycling trip together.

"Too busy..." Perhaps today is the last opportunity to spend some quality time together, and my brother is too busy. Doing his plants, cleaning up his house, organising his dining room... He may be busy, but really, he will be sorry one day... It's not a curse or out of ill will I say or think this. It's just predictable. How can planting flowers be more important than spending time with your own mother?

Instead, mum and I left and went cycling in the nearby dunes and forests. A beautiful route through the country's poshest neighbourhood, past some very exclusive mansions in the middle of nature. It's a route that mum enjoys thoroughly every single time, and she would always say it's her dream to live in one of these secluded houses and retire. It's a shame I do not have the means to realise that dream...

Heard this song on the radio yesterday, and it's as if it was written with my current mood in mind...

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home

...

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
...

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

OK, I wasn't in Rome (though I was in Florence). Even so, I do feel like the days are passing meaninglessly and for a while I have been counting down the days till I get on the airplane and fly off. Not that spending time with mum is a waste of my time... but who would have thought that this "home" of ours in the Netherlands would become so estranged and foreign?

Just a minute ago mum and I were talking about booking a hotel for the next two nights, just to 'escape' being here. But really... how ridiculous is it to pay for a hotel in your own town, when you have a home to go back to? But that's just it... the whole situation and circumstances is beyond ridiculous I have no words to describe it.


Two more nights...