Departing

I clenched my jaws and bit on the inside of my cheeks. The pain directed attention away from the pain of parting. It helped, because I didn't cry.

We stood in front of the passport control. We shuffled slowly forward, as one by one loved ones are separated by the glass wall. When it was their turn, I looked up at their faces. Dad was a little expressionless, but mum's eyes were wavering in tears. I tightened my teeth together, and tried to be a strong boy.

"Take care. You take care of yourselves..." I said, as I patted dad on his back and left my hand there a couple of moments before letting go. In those moments, I wished I could have the ability to reach inside of him, and heal his pain and illnesses... I turned to mum, and closed my arms around her. I held onto her tightly, hoping I wouldn't have to let go, hoping I could shelter her from her physicaly and mental pains. As I leaned in close to her ear, I whispered: "Take care of yourself. Live happy, live well..." Behind me I heard a sniff, perhaps coming from my brother.

My parents inched closer toward the passpart control desk, and further away from me. I looked at their backs, and silently sent them silent wishes and prayers... "May they be happy... May they be well... May they be healthy... May they be free from suffering." Then and there, I wondered when I would be able to see them again. I got flashbacks from the past... those partings that were always so difficult to bear, and all too easy to come.

Dad was through the control desk first, and he walked off without turning to look back. He swayed a little under the load of the handluggage he had strapped over his shoulders. He stopped, and I thought he would turn to look back, but instead he looked left and right, as if confused and wondering where to go next...

Mum stood before the passport control person, and as soon as she was ready, she turned to wave. I waved back. She waved back some more and motioned me to go, to go eat because we hadn't eaten yet. I nodded and faintly flashed her and smile, and mouthed "take care" through the glass barrier separating us. She walked on, turning back one more time to wave goodbye. I felt no sadness, no regret... in my mind I only wished that for the coming time when I am unable to see and be with them, they both have the courage and the strength to go on, to go on living happily and well... I watched as the back of mum's figure disappeared into the sea of people...

I stood there for a few moments, hoping and expecting to catch a glimpse of either mum or dad. Through a narrow slit in the glass barrier I could see people passing, people coming and going. But my parents had disappeared.

Slowly I left where I had stood for a short while... but I kept turning back, half expecting to see them, and half expecting to wave goodbye one more time.