(Well, isn't it good to direct attention towards something else other than my insignificant little life and my worries and fears?)
Late at night, an "auntie" called me up and she was upset. She went on for close to ten minutes about this issue that's been on her chest until the end her voice became muffled. I wasnt sure at first whether the line or her voice was breaking, but I highly suspected it was the latter... She quickly said she only needed to vent and apologised for bothering me.
For a while, I was unsure what to do. She was the mother of a friend, and in her absence, I promised my friend I would check up on her mum and help her mum in whatever way I can. And now the mother called me, obviously upset and perhaps crying, but the reason was because of my friend.
I waited a bit and called back. The auntie apologised again for troubling me at close to eleven at night (I didn't think too much of it...). And she went on to explain. Her daughter's no longer by her side, and they've become very estranged over the years. She treats me like family, and so felt so comfortable calling and ranting. "I know you can understand..." she said.
I cannot judge or say anything, for every relationship is different.
But it does sadden me to hear instances of children feuding with their parents (or vice versa) and instances when people fight and do not speak because of some misunderstanding. Of course, it's all very human, and parent's are never infallible. But, to me, in my little world tainted by loss and the absence of parents I can call, let alone quibble or fight with/again, I think it is unfortunate that when they are old some children grow so distant from home...
I felt for the auntie. She's all alone here by herself, and her language abilities (or lack thereof) make her very isolated and hinders her from really integrating fully into life and society here. For so long, she relied on her daughter (my friend), but now she's more or less on her own. It's hard to reconcile that, and from her words, I think it's dawning on her that perhaps in the future, perhaps for as long as she lives, she will have to cope on her own, for her daughter can no longer always be around...
It's a mother's, a parent's worry from growing old, especially when the children have moved away. I remember mum expressing those fears, fears which were compounded by the fact that in her later years she became increasingly ill and increasingly lonely and isolated. I called her, everyday, twice a day even, did what I could to make her feel "good", to make her feel like I've not abandoned her or forsaken her, or forgotten how she gave birth to me and raised me... Now she is gone, I have no regrets.
But I can understand ( I think...), I can appreciate the upset and emotions of this auntie. She feels upset, not because of this simple incident, but because of the reaction she got from her child-- a child she has sacrificed a lot and toiled in life for in order to provide a stable home and better future. After so many years, now that she is a bit older and close to retirement, she feels more and more the loneliness and harsh reality of being alone. And the incident was just a reminder, not only that she has to be more self reliant, but also that when children grow up, they will leave, and often they do not come back.
Late at night, an "auntie" called me up and she was upset. She went on for close to ten minutes about this issue that's been on her chest until the end her voice became muffled. I wasnt sure at first whether the line or her voice was breaking, but I highly suspected it was the latter... She quickly said she only needed to vent and apologised for bothering me.
For a while, I was unsure what to do. She was the mother of a friend, and in her absence, I promised my friend I would check up on her mum and help her mum in whatever way I can. And now the mother called me, obviously upset and perhaps crying, but the reason was because of my friend.
I waited a bit and called back. The auntie apologised again for troubling me at close to eleven at night (I didn't think too much of it...). And she went on to explain. Her daughter's no longer by her side, and they've become very estranged over the years. She treats me like family, and so felt so comfortable calling and ranting. "I know you can understand..." she said.
I cannot judge or say anything, for every relationship is different.
But it does sadden me to hear instances of children feuding with their parents (or vice versa) and instances when people fight and do not speak because of some misunderstanding. Of course, it's all very human, and parent's are never infallible. But, to me, in my little world tainted by loss and the absence of parents I can call, let alone quibble or fight with/again, I think it is unfortunate that when they are old some children grow so distant from home...
I felt for the auntie. She's all alone here by herself, and her language abilities (or lack thereof) make her very isolated and hinders her from really integrating fully into life and society here. For so long, she relied on her daughter (my friend), but now she's more or less on her own. It's hard to reconcile that, and from her words, I think it's dawning on her that perhaps in the future, perhaps for as long as she lives, she will have to cope on her own, for her daughter can no longer always be around...
It's a mother's, a parent's worry from growing old, especially when the children have moved away. I remember mum expressing those fears, fears which were compounded by the fact that in her later years she became increasingly ill and increasingly lonely and isolated. I called her, everyday, twice a day even, did what I could to make her feel "good", to make her feel like I've not abandoned her or forsaken her, or forgotten how she gave birth to me and raised me... Now she is gone, I have no regrets.
But I can understand ( I think...), I can appreciate the upset and emotions of this auntie. She feels upset, not because of this simple incident, but because of the reaction she got from her child-- a child she has sacrificed a lot and toiled in life for in order to provide a stable home and better future. After so many years, now that she is a bit older and close to retirement, she feels more and more the loneliness and harsh reality of being alone. And the incident was just a reminder, not only that she has to be more self reliant, but also that when children grow up, they will leave, and often they do not come back.
No comments:
Post a Comment