I saw mum again, for the n-th time in the past month or so. It drains me so to see her every time, it drains me to see her so often... 

It was a darkened room, she was there in one corner watching tv. (In another corner , strangely was my ex.) 

I could see she was in great discomfort. So I offered to massage her. She leaned against the bed, and I massaged her back. She sighed and groaned in greatly relief. So much pain she seemed to be in, pain that melted away under my touch and massage... 

Another scene... Crowded corridor at the hospital (the hospital where she (and dad...) stayed in and died in. We were waiting for something. There were so many, many people all waiting. I was restless and impatient, especially as there was no place to sit for mum and I could see standing so long caused her great pain... I stroked her back and massaged her. I placed my hands against her, hoping, as I used to do, that the pain would somehow miraculously pass from her body into mine... There was a lot of commotion and noise, someone was wheeled out of the operating room, surrounded by doctors, nurses and so many veiled women. Brother appeared with two three female friends of his and he stood by mum and my side...