Painful. My mind is so terribly agitated and disturbed. A conversation from a few hour earlier keeps playing in my head... It was about work, about being chained to work and being surrounded by people you don't really get along with yet must spend the vast majority of your days with because of "work". You have to work. To get money, to live, to survive in this world.
I dread that day of having to go into some office and face people and things that do not interest me or that I have little passion about. I dread becoming a droid and just being stuck in a dead-end job because there is nothing else. Work till you drop. Work till you die of illness, fatigue and/or old age. I saw it happen with my parents. I dread it happening with me.
It keeps me awake at night. Almost thirty, and where am I going? What am I doing with my life? Where is my career? Why do I care so little about career, fame, fortune or success? Why do I feel so inadequate compared with friends and people who are so advanced in their jobs and are making good money whereas I'm still dragging my feet and not fully realizing my potential?
I cannot sleep. My life has so little meaning and is truly lacking purpose. And this is something I cannot share with anyone.
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