In between

Why do relationships break down? Why do people who loved one another once become so estranged? Why do people who once was so filled with love and hope become disillusioned and bitter?

I will never really know or understand why. With the death of my parents, I came to the conclusion that if people really experienced death and ever really saw it take away a loved one, then they would not fight or bicker or be filled with so much ego and pride. If people really understood death and fragility of life, perhaps they would truly treasure and realise the real meaning of love, and really see how magical it is to find someone you love and think of so dearly...

My own experience with love and relationship has been so fraught with dashed hopes and broken dreams. As a child, I prayed and prayed so hard for peace in the family, I hoped and wished and promised god (whoever he was or whatever he meant to me at the time...) that I would give my own life for my parents not to argue and to make up. I hated being in between, hated being the bridge. And it seems once you are in that role, it is hard to get out of it.



Again, I find myself caught in the middle of something between two friends. What can I do? What can I say? I never wished to be involved in the breakdown of a relationship... heck, I am longing and dreaming every night and day to be in a relationship myself. But it seems I am on the outside hoping for peace while in front of me, all around  me, relationships break down and love turns to bitterness and anger.



One day, I maybe will understand why.
One day, maybe I will stop believing that love and peace can cure all ills in the world.