Return

"You need cry. You need to let it out..."

A lot of emotions and tears have been pent up inside since mum left. Unconsciously or otherwise, I've not had the time or strength to cry. Yes, crying takes a lot of strength, a lot of courage, and letting down your defenses. Crying, really crying and grieving, requires you to be weak for a few moments so that you can be stronger again...

It's been three days since my return to Canada, since the beginning of my new life after mum passed away. There are so many moments when I am suddenly pushed to the edge of tearing. Kind words of friends, condolences, huge, and reminders of what a kind and warm person mum was. Last night, my neighbour's mum invited me over for dinner. She met mum once, last summer, when mum stayed for a month or so. My friend's mum told me how, even though they had just met, she was so proud of me, and how she was worried about me. Most of all, mum said she was worried about how I'm sometimes too softhearted and tend to let other people take advantage of me. She wanted my mum's friends to check up on me and make sure I'll be alright. Last night, like words and expressions of mum's motherly love coming from beyond the grave...