lost and found

Mum was fine. eventually after dozens of times calling, after so many people searching for her and trying to contact her, she arrived back home safe and sound.

She did go to visit her friend an enjoy many soaks in the hot springs. She had a relaxing time, time during which the reoccurring pains and sores did not bother her so much. She felt bad that so many people were looking for her and became so worried. A friend of hers, who calls everyday to check up on her, almost didn't sleep. Brother reportedly smoked a whole pack of cigarettes out of nervousness. I sat at home, trying to find things to do to distract myself, while calling and calling every hour or so... I even found flights and half packed my bags just in case I needed to fly out this morning...

I said that its all a sign that so many people care so much, and that it's special to be thought of so much. Mum said she was touched by the big international search operation, and laughed when I told her my fear that she had misled me and instead checked into the hospital for surgery. "So pessimistic!" she said of me.

I'm relieved that mum is alright. My ex came by late at night to keep me company, interrupted a date he had just to be with me. I wasn't very responsive, and was even distant and rude toward him when he came by, despite me repeatedly telling him not to. But came and stayed, and showed by being there through this episode, as difficult as it is to comprehend, how much he loves me...

I'm relieved mum is alright. A heavy heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders, and for a while after I finally saw mum on Skype I sat in bed dazed and trembling, holding tightly onto the teddy bear mum gave me... It felt like I was holding her, hugging her tightly, and not wanting to let go.

"It's like a fire drill..." This entire episode of disappearance and mobilising so many people to search for mums whereabouts felt like preparation for something. It was just false alarm this time, and at the end of the day could smile again...

But one day it'll not be just a drill but for real.