farewell

The guy hugged his partner tightly , unwilling to let go. it was obvious there were tears in his reddened eyes. They kissed one another on the cheeks, once, twice, three times, four times, hard to let go as they hands explored one another's bodies. It was a bright, beautiful morning, yet two people before me were saddened by their imminent separation.

What the circumstances of their separation are, how long they have known one another, or even the true nature of their relationship, I will never know. But from their body language, from the way they kept waving to one another as the second man boarded the same bus I was on, it was obvious their love, their affection for one another was deep.

Why was the one crying, I will never know. Out of longing or loss? out of that emptiness that is beginning to grow when the other person is slowly getting further and further away? The true reasons only they know. It is like their little secret, something special that ties them together, and no stranger or onlooker can ever hope to understand or appreciate.

I saw my friend off, just as he saw me off some two months ago as I headed home. Some intense last minute packaging and cleaning, and too few hours of sleep has overwhelmed me. We fell asleep next to one another, naked. I don't remember if our skins was in contact with one another throughout the night, but morning came all too hurriedly, and all too quickly. Now I feel like a zombie longing for some good rest.

What is on your mind, he kept on asking me as we headed to the airport. I'm not really sure. There was something, but I'm not sure how to put it all together in a coherent thought or sentence, especially not after too little sleep, and before a farewell.

We said goodbye and hugged one another, again and again. I kissed him on the forehead and the cheeks, he gave me a little ear nibble. No lips this time, for it would be too weird and uncomfortable, perhaps. No tears, no sense of longing or missing, at least not yet.

Was I subdued, as he put it? Subdued due to the fatigue, or by something else? I'm not sure. He'll only be away be two weeks or so, and it'll be a good time to collect myself, clean up my life after all the comings and goings of the last two months. I look forward to time apart, to have my own space and time to breathe and meditate. Time figure out things in my mind, and move forward.

My friend passed through security, and I watched from a distance. What did I feel at that moment, besides being tired? I saw him get him bag after passing through the metal detector. He dis not look back, though I hoped he would, to turn back and wave, or smile. But he walked away, turned a corner and disappeared into the crowd. I lost him. And he lost me.

I have seen many people in my life through the same obscure angle at an airport as they gradually leave. Next week, when mum leaves, it will be another departure from my life.

Life, so often filled with people, sounds, obligations and emotions, quietens down once in a while. And it is at these moments that you realise, however beautiful the shared moments are together with another person, in the end you go through life alone, and must find peace with that.