One day retreat

A father watching his twenty-something year old daughter sleep soundly and is reminded of her face as a little girl so small... someone talking a shortcut through the park, and is struck by the sight of a little squirrel nibling peacefully on a piece of bread as cars all around sped past... a mother moved by the interaction a mother with her  mentally impaired daughter on a bus... someone driving and racing to make the class and for many moments her mind was so confused and clouded by haste and worry... and a girl walking toward the class, her mind filled with thoughts and wellwishes for the people suffering in the aftermath of the devastating earthquake in Japan...

So many scenes, sights and sounds of the world, all brought together by twenty strangers who had woken up on a Saturday morning to sit in a little hall. As you made your way here, what left an impression on your mind, the teaching asked, and how did you deal with that impression? Were you moved to tears, anxious, amazed or annoyed? Did you get caught up in those feelings, and let them spin your mind and drown your mind with agitation and frustration? Or did you let watch the feelings, watch them as they came or went?

For the six or so hours we were together, it felt like a great union of bodies and minds at one place. The day-retreat centred on the theme of "Equanimity", the Buddhist concept that whatever happens in and around you, you should maintain a calm and unmoved state of mind. If happiness arises, realise that there is happiness, enjoy the happiness, but do not dwell in it, do not cling onto it. If sadness arises, or if you are confronted with situations that is mentally and physically tormenting, see that sadness, that pain, that suffering, and do not linger in it, do not despair in it. All things, all feelings will pass, and emotions are always moving (e-"motion"), always changing. Being equanimous, or at ease, requires great restraint, requires the ability to see through things, see through feelings and the understanding that the world is never stable, and nothing is really "yours" or "mine".

Through a mix of sitting meditation and walking meditation and talks, the morning went and too soon, or so it felt, the session was over. I opened my eyes, after having closed them in meditation for a long while, and adjusted to the room. What an experience it was, even if at times I was afflicted with memories, feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety and worry. What an experience it was to close your eyes, and to watch the mind, watch what looks like a faint flame that blows in the direction of the winds, yet never fades.

This is the practice... to be able to face and be blown over by great storms or gentle breezes, and yet not stir...