Out for the night

Sometimes you come home after a day out with friends, and you feel a little empty inside.
Maybe it's because it's 3.49am...

I had a Baileys, one of my favourite drinks, and that was all for the night. It got me through three hours of clubbing. I guess in the beginning it was fun, since I really haven't gone out for a long time with friends.

We had agreed to go to the fireworks together... and finally after three weeks they showed up. It was pretty spectacular, as usual, but the weather was freezing cold! Afterwards, we decided the beach was too crowded (and expensive) so instead headed into a bar in the city centre, where two of our friends were.

It was pretty empty, and the whole place was full of international people... people doing their internships at the UN tribunal here in The Hague. I felt so left out, as they all had this 'I-work-for-the-UN' feel surrounding them, and weren't really all that approachable.

After that Baileys I did feel a bit loosened up, and so people suggested to go dancing. Oh well, might as well go I guess.

Getting into the club/bar was difficult because a girl from our group got barred from the bar (ironically) beacause she "looked drunk". How do you look drunk? And aren't you supposed to be a bit drunk when you drink? The bouncers were really rude and just wouldn't let her in. She ended up in tears, and said she'd been so hurt and had her self-esteem ruined. I didn't know the girl very well, but I stood there thinking why all this drama? Why did we spend ten minutes outside a bar which was making it so difficult to get into anyways? Why should we be treated like dirt?

Anyways... eventually that girl went home alone, and the rest of us ended up going in.

Loud music. Flashing lights. Deafening, and oh so crowded. Though some of the guys were somewhat cute.... I danced around, together with two girlfriends, and we were pretty much enjoying myself. I may not go out much, but I think I can dance pretty alright if I have to. And I guess it was nice to 'loose' yourself and just let your body move to the rhythm.... if anything, it's good exercise, I guess.

As I was dancing, I looked around.... all these people around my age, flirting, dancing, touching, kissing, hugging. Some probably don't even know each other, but just saw what they liked on the dancefloor, and bang are glued to each other's bodies. A bunch of guys were just dancing hideously close to girls, and giving them the flirtatious look and trying to pick on the prey...

I think to myself, as the music boomed, lights flashed and my body moved... what is all this? I felt I was there, but not really there. I was enjoying it, but then also dreading it. Why do people do this? Pick up meat just like you do on the market... and call it a love affair? How much can you really get to know a person from the moves and eye contact and flirts?

I breathed deeply as soon as I got out of that bar/club, and felt like my ears was ringing from the long exposure to the loud music. It was wonderful to breath fresh air again, and to feel the cold night air wake you, and shake you from the drowsiness that came from the alcohol, smoke, and crowdedness of all that sleazy people and atmosphere.

I guess I have a different definition of fun.