Maybe this Christmas

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtube_gdata_player&v=JITHqWLhj3M&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DJITHqWLhj3M%26feature%3Dyoutube_gdata_player

Watching the Polar Express , one of my favourite Christmas movies of all times. It's a riveting, sweeting, loving and fantastical tale about children, toys and dreams come true.

A friend invited me to his place, saved me from Christmas eve spent alone at home, something I felt I could face. This season is not easy, but lucky I have dear friends who take me in.

There were moments I felt this pain... This is such a family-oriented holiday, such a holiday filled with the symbolism of love and spirit of giving. And i miss nu parents dearly. (For some reason my brother has not called, even though I sent them such an expensive package of goodies...)

Sitting next to the tree that I helped decorate a few weeks back, I am filled with this longing again. Longing for family, for finding this signifisnt other I can fully care and cherish, and who can fill me with the courage and strength to pick myself up and move forward. Life is a constant struggle on your own. Life feels so heavy and so meaningless at times when you are on you own and trying to figure things out without much parental guidance or emotional support...

Yes, I am very fortunate to have food, friends and warmth on this cold cold day.
But do we all have a right to dream, to believe in miracles on this most magical day of the year?

Maybe this Christmas...
Maybe this Christmas...