Making someone happy

"I love to take care of somebody.." My friend said, excited about this promotion that he found which could allow him to send his parents around the world in first class for a ridiculous amount of money. It really is an unbelievable deal, in a way too good to be true.

I've often said to my friend that he's lucky to have parents who care about him, and thy he should treasure that relationship. He does do that, and he has on occasion said that's partly because he saw the lengths I went to for my parents. My friend has been sending his parents on trips in business class by using airlines miles he accumulated. He talked excitedly about the trip he has all planned out for them, but I think in his excitement he did not realise I'd gone quiet...

Am I envious? Or just sad? They truly are lucky parents, and he is being a good son by giving them so much pleasure in their retirement.

What got me sad was myself... There he was talking about his parents, who are still alive and well, and here I am with no one I can call, no one I can make happy by giving them trips around the world... The problem is me, being envious that I have lost the dearest people in my life, and my friend's remark "I love to take care of somebody..." made me feel even sadder...

I too love to take care of somebody... I too loved to surprise my mum, take her to luxurious hotels and book her on expensive packages, take her to fancy restaurants just to make her feel spoiled and happy, make her feel like life is worth living and that her life has been worth it all. We had those moments, we had our time...

But I can't do little surprises and come up elaborate plans to make someone happy.. Not any more for my parents, and not any more for someone I feel I can do that for...

I can make little surprises for myself and reward myself day by day for how far I have come and how strong I've held up without breaking down...