Down time

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Second day I stayed home. I couldn't bring myself to go to work, to go to the office and pretend to work. Something is wrong again, I feel it.

What is it? Why do I feel so teary again? Why do I feel so emotional and so lonely? Is it because after a long weekend spent with someone, I feel low and empty not seeing him? Or is the sunshine and energized feelings I gathered in st Maarten there weeks ago wearing off? I feel myself falling into another rut. A terrible danger.

Nobody asks about it.
Nobody knows about it.

Should I be the one to tell people? Shouldn't friends, if they truly are such dear and close friends, not ask me how I am? Should they not detect, especially in the way I have been acting this past week, sense that I am struggling?

I need to pull myself together again. And I'm scared. I need help, I really do.