Beneath the smile

Smile, because you have to. Smile, because people want to see the superficial.
Smile, not because you  want to, but you must prove to yourself, prove to others you are strong already.

But is it not just a charade? Is it not just pretend?
Behind the smile, do you not want to cry? Do you not want to burst out crying in front of those who make you feel safe and secure?

But who? Who?  Not my ex, who came to town this Easter weekend to relax and to... I'm not sure what for. He cried seeing me, he cried when we hugged. Crying because he can already feel that things are different now? Crying because he can feel I no longer hug him with the sense of dedication and commitment that I used to? Crying because he knows I am hurting inside, but I am too stubborn to let him grab me by the hand and let him help me, however much he tries?

I am broken inside, but who can see it? Who will and can I let inside my heart and soul to touch me, to heal me again?