Feud

I exploded on my brother. The frustration and anger has been building up for some time, for weeks, and exacerbated over the past few days. Tensions originating from different temperaments and different approaches to things. Who is to say who is wrong or right? Nobody can say that. But what I dislike and what irritates me most of all is the way my brother commands and bosses people around the house. And I made that very clear to him.

We argued back and forth for ten minutes or so. The baby suddenly began crying, and did not stop for quite some time. He even got out of bed by himself and opened the bedroom door, crying, to see what was going on.  Later, when the mood calmed down, I joked that my nephew was upset by his dad and his uncle arguing.

I told my brother very frankly how I don't appreciate his attitude and his way of bossing people around from the very first thing in the morning. He accused me of not doing anything, of just sitting around and (figuratively) folding my arms and letting him deal with all these things that need to be taken care of. I really fail to see what still needs to be done that we have not yet done, yet my brother has the impression there are still so many unfinished business to be taken care of.

"Even mum never treated me like this when she was still alive..." I said. There, I finally said what I wanted to say. "Your behaving a lot like dad..." That made him become quiet. I hate to bring dad up, and I know it's disrespectful toward him, but really growing up a lot of tensions at home was caused by dad having a bad temper and telling mum to do this and do that. Very much like what my brother is doing now... And I hate to see a repeat of this in his family, and seeing it affect his marriage and my nephew's childhood. Because I know how unhealthy it is to grow up in a family where there is someone who's moods can change like the weather and bring everyone suddenly down...

We soon "made up". Really, there was no hatred harboured, just things I needed to get off my chest. And I think my brother heard what I said, and he too toned down a bit too. Sometimes all you need is  a bit of communication to clear any misunderstandings. And maybe I was upset, and yes I brought up mum and dad with the belief that mentioning them may have more influence on my brother, but I am glad that at least one thing is off my chest, and I sure do hope my brother can change a bit for the better.