Drowning and letting go

There once was a master who wanted to train his disciple. "Go out to sea," the master told the disciple.
When the water reached the disciple's hips, he turned, only to see the master wave him on to go further. When the water reached the disciple's chest, he turned again, only to see the master standing on the store, waving him to go even further. The disciple was getting scared, for with every step, the water was reaching to his neck, then gradually to his lips.

"I'm going to drown!" the disciple shouted, and flapped around the sea, drinking in the salty water.

"Let go," the master shouted, "Just let go, and relax..."

The disciple did as he was told, and he let go. Let go of his fears, let go of his fear of drowning, let go of his anxiety of being surrounded by vast open sea, let go of his mind, and stopped flapping his arms around. Soon he discovered that if he just stayed very still, and just floated, the sea would carry his weight.

Letting go... it is the most difficult thing to do in life, and I am facing it every single day. When I see mum in pain, I cringe and feel pain inside. It is because I cannot let go. It is because I feel too attached to mum, and care too much that I get frustrated, upset, even angry, that I cannot do anything to alleviate her pain or suffering. When I just think of leaving her in a week or so's time, my heart wrenches, and my eyes are almost moved to tears... because I cannot let go. I still cannot just tell myself to let things be, let whatever will be just be-- even though I know I cannot change anything, cannot change life or illness or death, and must just accept things as they happen.

I must slowly learn to let go... Let go does not mean not caring. It means caring, but not allowing the caring to get ahead of you, to seize control of your emotions, and to let the caring overwhelm you so much that you desire to change the unchangeable.

Letting go is admitting to yourself that you have done the best you can under the circumstances, and leaving things to fate-- even if fate does not turn out as you plan or as you desire.

Letting go is just... letting go. Or otherwise, I will surely drown in a sea of sorrow, and wallow in a pool of misery of my own creation...