21 August 2010

26.5 years old

Inadvertently I saw the date today. 21 August. Six months after my birthday, and therefore also six months before my birthday. Already twenty-six and a half years old... somehow that feels 'old'. Thinking back, I wonder what I have really done in the half a year since my birthday? Travel, fly around the world visiting family, visiting friends... once it was even for one last time. It seems that has been the highlight of this half a year of my life. Travelling, flying. Was it worthless and not memorable? No. But what have I learned out of it all? How have I benefited anyone? Maybe as I wrote before through my very presence, however fleeting and insignificant it may be...

The past six months have gone by with no grand schemes, no great big plans for life. No roadmap to follow, no real objectives to accomplish. And all the while in those moments I am home alone, I feel the loneliness creep up and accompany me.

Often at junctures in my life, I like to look forward and imagine... imagine maybe six days or six months from now I am at a high point, imagine that maybe I am filled with energy and inspiration, filled with love and compassion for life...

Will the next six months be much different?

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