Call

I'm not sure why I'm so reluctant or afraid to pick up the phone and just call. I know that this friend of mine is unwell, and she would be very happy to hear from me. But I just don''t know what I could say to make her feel "better"... Again, like with my own mother, what could one possibly say to make someone who is undergoing terrible chemo therapy feel better?

She is a dear person. When I was growing up alone in the Netherlands, she would call or visit me to see how I was doing. Not only that, she has always been ready to lend a hand when my brother needs help, and every time I would go back to Europe, she is one of the few people that I still keep in touch with and visit.

A few months back, brother told me that she discovered she has ovarian cancer, and she has since then undergone surgery and chemo. All her hair is gone, her voice is weak when she speaks... so I have heard from third parties.

I have written to her, cards, emails, sms, to encourage her, to let her know that my thoughts are with her, but I dare not call for some strange reason... Maybe I'm afraid to hear again that yet another person dear to my life has been struck down by cancer... maybe I'm just afraid to face reality and the suffering of someone close, after having just lost a friend recently, and now seeing my mum tormented by her illness...

I know I should call, because I know how much a voice on the phone can mean to someone. But why do I not have the courage to...?