How are things?

The weather suddenly brightened today, and it seems like summer is finally returning, after the weeks of rain and coldness. I wish the same could be said about my mood at the moment.

Already the first day of July, and I've got one month exactly to finish off my masters thesis if I want to graduate at the end of summer. Or, put simply, one month to start!

Another week went by, and still I'm making so little progress. I read, and read, and read, and have so many pages of notes and ideas, but the problem is starting to write. To write, I need a structure, and I need a clear research question. What is it that I want to prove? Why am I writing this thesis? Why is this thesis important to the field of study? What issue am I addressing here?

I'm not sure.

All I know is I want to write about the concept of 'international community', but I'm not sure what exactly I want to write about. There are so many issues, like who or what is the international community... what are the values of the international community... when can we see the international community in action? Sure I can just ramble on about my own personal opinions of how this so-called 'international community' is nothing more than a few powerful states masquerading as the brain, heart and limbs of the world, but I need to write something that's 'l-e-g-a-l', something that's based on research and something that can be supported by the opinion of leading scholars and practitioners. And that's the hard part...

And that's just one part of what is on my mind at the moment... if I'm to graduate soon, I also need to think about my future and applying to jobs! At the moment I'm just putting all my eggs into one basket, and hoping that I'll get this dream position starting October. I got into the first round, and now there's a one-in-three chance of being selected. And July is the month I'll know if I have an opportunity or not... if I have a position, I'm supposed to hear from them before mid-July... if not, I'll not hear anything at all.

And it's killing me having to wait, wait, wait since May. If I get it, most likely for the foreseeable future I'm more or less on track. If not, I'll be as lost as ever, and have to start wondering what I want to do again, which is something I really have a difficult time deciding.

I'll be so glad when this month is over... and it's just started.