Wild is probably the best way to describe it. Went to my first gay pride parade today, and it was fun. Seen similar things on TV before, but you’ve really got to be there to experience the ‘experience’.
Highlight was the annual Canal Cruise, with literally ‘floats’ on the canals. Some were really creative, like the one by COC (Dutch gay interest group) which had all our shameful ministers on board, carrying placards with their recent anti-gay remarks. Others were simply outrageous and provocative, with scantily dressed men and women, some going as far as exposing everything. Many simply screamed ‘sex’, with tongue kissing, pole dancing, and men caressing and licking each others greased-up bodies. All were pleasing to the eye and imagination, and got the crowd wild. Even wilder with the beat of the music blaring from onboard sound systems. A couple of times I couldn’t stop laughing, at the ridiculous but oh-so-liberated behaviour of all these people on the boats. A couple of times I couldn’t stop drooling. Goh, there were so many beautiful bare-chested t(w)eens, shaking their tanned and built-up bodies… The kind of image that makes your heart pound.
As night fell there were parties all over the city, but the biggest one was on Rembrandt Plein (Square), which for these three days was renamed ‘Rainbow Plein’! There was great music by live DJs, and our host was a transvestite diva with a very ‘man’ voice, all dressed up in pink feathers and thongs (what else do you expect?). At one point she said: “Gays, put your hands up in the air!” And the whole square was full of raised hands.
It was a great experience. I’ve never felt so free to be gay, that feeling brought out by the rainbow flags and colours that lined the streets and canals. Couples openly held hands, hugged and kissed, something that on ‘normal’ days you rarely see, even in a country as open as the Netherlands. People came (out), people performed, people cheered and people joined in the mayhem. It was a chance, perhaps only three days a year, but still a chance, to show how proud holebis are of themselves, and in a way show others like them, who are perhaps afraid or ashamed, how proud they should be.
But then, *sigh* I felt a little left out. I mean, I’m happy I went and glad that gays (holebis) are able to be so vocal and free in this country. But I’ve never felt really comfortable at public events like this, and even more uneasy at dances and parties (remember LYLM Ch11??). The spontaneity of it all, the socialising and mingling with strangers…that really scares me. I just freeze and loose the ability to talk because I get so nervous. And today/-night was no exception.
Often I felt like I was just an observer, standing on the sidelines, watching, and not really joining in like all the rest around me. People were rocking their heads and bodies to the beat of the music and the rhythm of the crowd, but I felt like dead wood, just standing there and watching.
On the train journey home, I glanced at the pictures I took. Smiling as I remembered the things that made me smile before. My mind replayed the events of the past day. And gradually I became a little glum. I guess it didn’t help I went there alone, and came home alone too.
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