Anxieties

 

 

There is such an unease in the air. Unease that is transformed into fatigue, lethargy, and just overall agitation. For the past week or so, I have felt unwell. Initially there were worried that the sore throat and just wish to sleep is a sign that "I got it". But luckily, I still have my sense of smell, taste, and I have no fever. Not that there are sure signs of what it feels like to get corona. From what I read, it is just horrible, and the most excrutiating experience ever. Others report feeling just fine.

Back in 2014 (or 2015? The years over the past decade have just merged into one another... this is what growing older feels like), I caught the H1N1 (Influenza A). Initially, I thought it was just fever, but that fever would not subside for days, no matter what medicine I took. By the fifth day or so, I had to be taken to hospital. I was so weak, I could just barely get to the toilet, and all I wanted was to lie down and sleep. Luckily, by that time, Tamiflu was already available, and a rush to the ER and an IV drip, as well as a whole regiment of pills for 10 days, I was better. Though, for months after that, I felt my lung capacity reduced, and a "normal" walk would leave me heaving for breath.

Luckily, I am still ok. But there is this unease, anxiety and fear that hangs over me, and I imagine over everyone. Sleepnessless and insomia are common signs these days affecting many people I know. And I feel less social, even more so, than I already am as a result. Less social, and somewhat irritable. That is what being confined to your home for an extended period of time does...

But at least I have a home, and also a steady flow of income, which is what many around the world do not. Governments have unleashed billions in stimulus packages and benefits to make sure that those affected by the shutdown and indefinite closure of non-essential businesses do not fall into absolute poverty. It does beg the question of where the money suddenly comes from, and why in "normal" times, ideas like a universal basic income (UBI, popularised by American-Taiwanese former US presidential candidate Andrew Yang) are scoffed at. Why is it that banks and businesses, that make billions in profits year after year after year, are suddenly crying and begging for help within weeks of a shutdown, while the lower income classes are expected to make do with a basic income? Why is it that trillions can be spent on defence and the pharmaseutical lobbies, yet just a fraction of that is hard to come by even just for stockpiling of basic protective gear for the frontline workers?

Who will think of the refugees and homeless in the time of enforced social distancing? Where are they supposed to stay "home" at when they do not have a home? The other day, a friend saw a starving and homeless outside a coffee shop, and offered to buy him a meal. My friend and his wife were sneezed on (not purposely), and are not deadly afraid they may have caught something. And what happened to that man who, after receiving his one free meal, must stay outside ?

This coronacrisis is causing a lot of anxiety, unrest, and thrown the world into disarray.
But in this disarray, perhaps we can see some truths or the realities of how broken our world is, and try to change it for the better?