Leaving taiwan

On the plane now, slowly taxiing toward the runway. Sitting in the exit row window seat that I had to fight for (#sqsucks), had to depart 4hrs earlier than I planned because the airline said there's a risk of me missing my connection if I had only an hour. Very upsetting and a waste of my time, and the airline finally relented after ten email exchanges.

Sunny, beautiful day. Leaving Taiwan... What a speedy trip, five nights and six days. So many people I have seen, so many places I have been. Most important of all, I went to see mum and offered prayers and food to her as promised. I was extremely touched that people took the time on a Saturday to join me in remembering mum, and many brought food and offerings to make the ceremony more festive.

There were moments when I teared up, particularly as my aunt, whom I asked to prepare most of the food (...though she didn't do such a great job; most things were bought, which I thought was very cheap for such a special day...), told me about their childhood and growing up. They have a stepmother, who was mean to them and preferred her own children. Mum was always very obedient, whereas my aunt more defiant and would even talk back to the stepmother (thus my step-grandmother , I would guess, though I still treat her with respect and call her grandma...) I heard stories from mum about how they would tiptoe and steal food that the stepmother would give only to her own children... I heard from mum that the stepmother would twist their eye lids (extremely painful!) as punishment, and once told her that women need not study and only need to get married and serve at home. Mum defied her and studied, with the help of her aunt, who put mum through cram school with her own daughter (mum's younger cousin whom mum adored and traveled with many times...) Hence mum is eternally grateful to this aunt of her, and somewhat distant with her stepmother (but still respectful...).

My aunt spoke of how she and mum and another sister of mum's (they were three girls) were so close and do everything together... After mum graduated, she went to work for the government and got her first job at a town created for the civil service. My aunts would visit, my aunt said while we journeyd to Taipei and toward the ceremony on the train, and mum would take them out and treat them to wonderful things...

My aunt said that initially she wasnt into dad all that much, and was more into her first love... But her dad opposed it because it was a sailor who would be away out at sea long periods of time... Mum married dad, I learned before and my aunt said again, because dads writing was so moving and he had such a gift with words he kept on writing and word her that way. They got married , moved to the big city Taipei to work, had my brother , had me, and the rest is history... My aunt said dad was so kind to her, and my aunt stayed with them for some time while she was working in the big city as a department store saleswoman...

I teared up hearing about parts of mum's life in review. "So kind she was, so compassionate..." my aunt said , "and she left so early..." Mum certainly was all those things and more, and she left before her time, before I had a chance to really stand up and succeed. I gave her my time, spent as much time as I could with her. I tell myself, and told her till her dying day, she has no regrets... She's seen the world, enjoy wonderful delights and delightful experiences.