16 February 2015

巛SIN-tpe

SIN-TPE

flying over Taiwan, ten minutes or so till touch down. I can see mountains , roads like grey capillaries cut across the land. 

Before, at this very moment of descent, I used to be filled with anticipation and excitement. Now? This emptiness of feeling, and moments of dread. Crossing passport control still fills me with such dread... The dread of being drafted and prevented from leaving until I complete military service. That fear has never subsided. Whereas before, I had a real purpose, the purpose of seeing mum (and dad), now what is the purpose of my visit? I ask myself that too...

Student occupation of parliament, food safety scandals, an unpopular government, dominance of the media by pro-China forces... This island and the people of this island has endured so much since I was last here. And somehow this place, this place of my birth, feels so foreign now. What am I doing here, I find myself asking. 

Twelve days to go... How do I fill these twelve days with meaning, with purpose and joy?

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