How do you break the mould of grief and and mourning? How do you resist the temptation of feelings that are so easy because they are seemingly all around you?
Do something different.
Leave familiar places and people and go somewhere new.
Why is it that I've been traveling so much these past few years? Partly because of wanting to be with mum, but now that episode has come to a close, its because traveling makes me forget, or at the very least remember less the painful and difficult moments and traumas, and allows me to see more of the world that for so long had been darkened by the shadows of illness and death.
It does not matter most other people do not understand it.
It matters only that I realise I need it to heal and make me whole again. because, as a friend recently told me, I have come a long long way on my own. How...? I don't know how... I stumbled and fell and cried more than ever before on my own.
From grief and loss to venturing into unchartered and potentially dangerous territories. These are not small feats, most people do not realise.
On the eve of the second anniversary of lice without mum , without a parent, I close my eyes and blink away the tears and fears. I blink away the pain, the emptiness, the sorrow and the void.
I will break away.
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