BR2198

200214.1528

Another goodbye, another trip home about to draw to an end. What a strange trip it has been, being so terribly sick and lying around most of the days I've been here. The illness has really affected me, for I am so tired and still suffering from terrible chest pains whenever I breathe...

My cousin insisited on coming with me to the airport, and together we rode the taxi there just as the sky was brightening. She's been very supportive these past few years, even before mum passed away. She was there throughout the caregiving process, she saw and knew how exhausted before and traumatised I was afterwards. She understands also, because she's a trained nurse. She understands also because she's been through similar misfortunes and hurdles and aches in relation to love and finding a mate, so she knows the feeling of loneliness and longing. Luckily, she seems to have found someone stable and committed now.

I was, to be honest, too tired to feel. Between running to meet and greet another cousin who works at the duty free to calling all the relatives and people I feel endebted to and always thank and bid farewell, I was sweating profusely once I got on board the plane. The night before, brother's loud, loud snoring woke me up every hour or so, meaning sleep was terribly disrupted. The alarm was set for 540, taxi pick up at 600. I quietly rechecked my belongings and bags and woke up my brother and sisterinlaw to say goodbye. Brother accompanied downstairs, and I told him to take care of his health and be well. 

As much as I wanted to wake him and hug him in my arms, I let my nephew sleep. He's become such a beautiful and energetic kid. So full of life, laughter and joy, he's a darling to the heart, but also can be such a handful and very demanding. Yesterday, his mum left to go to the bookstore, his dad went to the movies, and I was left with mg nephew for over an hour at this kid's playground. We played ball and balloons a bit, then when he noticed there was an "auntie" there with her daughter, he wouldn't play with me anymore. When I tried to take his hand he'd tell me to go upstairs or run away to this auntie. Quiet a character. Back in the hotel room, I peeled loquat for him and he was all over me and hugged my legs. Abd we played cars (most of which he'd really wrecked and torn pieces.. he's got the destructive streak, and looks and tenpernent, of his father...). He refused yo slep and sat up in bed for a while while his mum slept already. He looked at me, in the other bed, and was so intrigued by me for a while before he lay down and curled his little body next to his mum. Dad did not come home until later...

like a zombie I boarded the plane. It was a Hellot Kitty plane , Happy Music Time, bit I was so tired I could hardly get excited, and slept almost as soon as the plane too off. I did wake up for the meal, a special order  of the famous dumplings and chicken soup from 1 Michelin star restaurant Din Tai Fung. The service was impeccable, as always. 

It was like a dream... Coming back home, falling ill and being bed bound, and then the final few days running around trying to meet people and buy things, and going to see my parents. How sad I was yesterday, and here I was flying away , soaring into the heavens and leaving behind the country with so many people and things I treasure and love. Land disappeared beneath thick clouds, but soaring advice the cloud cover were these snowcapped peaks and majestic mountains. 

Farewell, my homeland...

Farewell...