Collapse

 I slept.
Slept.
Just slept.
Woke up to use the washroom, watch tv, fill my growling stomach, and climbed back into bed again. 

Damned be all the work I need to to do, damned be the books I need to read and study.
I just want to escape, hide under my blankets, hide under my closed eye lids.


It's freezing out there, and the snow keeps on falling. I cannot find any semblance of warmth. I turn inwards, turn to pornography, turn to my writings, my words, by they desert me.

This most festive and family-oriented season of all is the most painful and difficult experience of all. How do so many people go through this season alone? How do they shut away the lights and colours, shut away reminders of pretty little shop windows and pretty pictures of mum, dad and the kids sitting in front of a fire place?  How do you tune out of christmas music about love and togetherness , warmth and family?

I dread the coming of the holidays, dread the reminders of get-togethers and having to pretend that everything is well and dandy.

I miss my parents so very dearly and so painfully...
I miss the soul mate and one true friend I thought I had...