28 July 2012

Misfortunes

29072012.1542



This is turning to be a terrible trip.
Perhaps I expected far too much, and so can only be disappointed...

First my knee became terribly sore (better now, but still unable to walk, let alone bike, long distances...). Then as I planned to take the bike on the train further southward, to the hometown of my parents, I was refused entry to the train-- for a reason I do not understand, because last time it was fine and no questions were asked! And now the weather is changing, and a terrible typhoon is approaching closer and closer, with torrential rain and strong winds expected...

So I'm limping when I walk, my morale and spirit is wounded, and making my way to the train station to take the train (or bus... It's terribly crowded and the height of the summer holidays). Not what I planned at all... But is anything ever as planned?

I just want to get away, to go somewhere where I can be myself and stop pretending, stop smiling and keeping up appearances. I just want to spend time alone or with someone dear so that can pour my heart out... Because it's so tiring to carry a heavy heart around and so tiring to mourn without really crying...

But life cannot always be what you want it to be. You cannot get what you want, and will just have to make peace with that...

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