A moment

I'm sitting on mum's bed, all alone in our home in Taipei. Already past two in the morning, and I am feeling as if I could cry. Not out of sadness, but because of happiness.

I had waited till the plane landed, and throughout the day had been following mum's long, long flight to Europe to make sure the flight arrives safely. In fact I just called, and as expected, brother had picked her up and were on the drive home. He had uploaded a picture of mum, the moment when she just walked out of luggage pickup. Something about that image touches me... maybe it's the fact that only 16 hours ago, I was right next to her, I was hugging her and wishing her all the best.

I cannot contain my sense of relief and gratitude. All the planning and uncertainties in the past few months are over, and that mum has safely arrived in the Netherlands. At some moments, it seemed like she wouldn't make it because of her health condition and the chemo, but make it she did. I am glad, because over there, away from the noise and pollution of urban life in Taiwan, she can take the time to recuperate, to find herself and her health again.

She needs it, she deserves it. Despite my concerns and all my worries, she made it. She sounded joyous on the phone, excited even, and said she had a pretty good flight and feels not too tired (thank goodness for Economy Deluxe class on Eva Air). As I accompanied her to the airport very early this morning, I told her to take good care, to relax, to take things slowly and to let go of things here so she can thoroughly enjoy the cooler climate and cleaner air in Europe. Every little bit helps to stabilise her condition, to help her live a calm and stress-free life, and to keep the cancer from spreading.

On the floor I can see strands of mum's hair. However I sweep, they do not seem to go away. But I think mum has come to accept the fact, especially after her masseuse told her that it's good to shed, because even the hair strands contain toxin from the chemo. Only after shedding can the new ones grow back. So this morning, I saw mum pack her wig into the suitcase, and I helped to place it in a location so that it'll be free from being squished.

May a good few weeks filled with happiness and good health be with mum...