Am I pushing my mum too much? I get upset that she doesn't get up to exercise in the morning... I get upset that she rushes off to work, even though her superior told her already that she can go in much later so that she can have her morning exercises and take things slower...
Just now, I was telling her all this in bed, just before she went to sleep, and she seemed saddened. She turned away, and said she's going to sleep. And soon, she fast asleep and snoring. But I feel bad... for being so harsh on her, for scolding her and being too pushy.
She was sighing and again speaking in ways that seemed like she has no more hope any more. And that gets me really down and upset. "There is no cure," she said, "I will not get better. All the doctors say that."
But that doesn't mean that she can't coexist peacefully with the cancer. If it can't get better, then at least don't let it get worse with such negative thoughts and negative energies...!
It really pains me to see her like this. And it pains me even more that she puts her job and the number of hours that she can spend at the office before her health and her peace of mind. When I see my other friend, who has become so frail, so weak, so close to death with cancer and chemo, I fear, I fear and dread that one day I will have to endure seeing my own mother in such a sorry state...
How do I keep positive and remain happy and undisturbed by my mum's negative thoughts, and be there and be strong for her?
2 comments:
Here's a big HUG for you dear friend! Facing the sickness with our dear ones are always learning-in-depth of our lives. There's hope, and good energy will be a very good start. Keep it up with the "center" of ourselves and share it hard! I'll send you an e-mail next week for some information. Take much care!
I suppose you hear this tons of times, but it saddened me to hear what you have to endure. It puts things in perspective, makes me realise what an ass I am to cry over tiny, everyday "tragedies".
Your mom is probably spending so much time at work to distract herself. If you think she's not doing what she should to help herself, tell her once or twice, but not more. She knows what she's doing. Instead, take her out to movies or do little things together to keep things light.
Easier said than done, I know.
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