Consolation

I got up really early, even though I slept late last night. Despite the disappointment about my unexpected huge salary cut, I still went to work with joy, and wanting to make a good job of what I do.

Almost the whole day I was in meetings. First in the morning to meet a known professor of air (and space) law at my university who has a lot of contacts and an extensive networks. Because this year the case of the moot court competition I'm organising is dealing with air law, any company or organisation in the aviation field could be a big potential sponsor. With a lot of sponsoring, we can then make sure it's a big success in April, when the competition is held.

And the professor was extremely kind and helpful, and promised to support me all the way. He's already started to advertise on my behalf, and said he can kept big names like KLM (the biggest national airline of the Netherlands), and even Eurocontrol (the organisation in charge of air traffic coordination in Europe) to be involved in the event.

I left with hope, and a smile, and went to my next meeting. It was with my former boss, whom I'm succeeding at the office. She's been ever so kind all the way, ever since I started volunteering for her last year. She was the one who asked me to stay and work (paid!) during the summer, and she was one of the people who really pushed the university to offer me the position I'm in now, so I'm always really grateful for what she does for me. She's often there to help me, tell me what to do when I need help, and I thank her a lot, but she always says I shouldn't, which makes me really embarrassed and lost as what to say.

Anyways, today's meeting with her was a sort of 'passing-on of wisdom', because she's been doing my job for three years, so knows the competition really well. She gave me a lot of useful contacts, said she'd call and write to people on my behalf, and took me step by step through everything that needs to be done in the coming months. So patient, and so detailed! We were at her house, and she had two big fat cats that always stayed around, and occasionally nudged against us, which was really sweet. One even came to sit in my lap for a good ten minutes, until my legs started to get numb from his weight...

Just before I left, I took out a little card, and two gifts for her. As usual, she said I shouldn't have, but I really wanted to. I was really grateful.... you know the kind of gratefulness that even a thousand 'thank yous' can't express.... the kind of gratefulness that makes your eyes a little watery...

I came home and had a good dinner, after which my 'girlfriend' (for lack of a better word) called. We talked and chatted, like we often do, asking how one another's been today, and at one point she just broke down and started to cry...

She has a really stressful job that's not paid well, but makes her literally every single day of the week. She probably works more than twelve hours a day, and at weekends she even goes to work as well. But her colleagues don't seem to appreciate her and her hardwork. She's really tried so hard throughout her life, and had to do everything alone with no support from anyone (not even parents). She's working so hard, but seems like there's no recognition.

When her voice started wavered and she started to wimper, I felt like I could cry too... That's one 'problem' (if it's a problem...) with me, and it's that I'm too sensitive to other people's feelings, and they affect me. She started to cry, and talk about her anxieties and pains. I listened and now and then just 'hmm-ed..." in acknowledgement, but deep down inside wishing I could be there to hold her and tell her it'll be alright, tell her things aren't all that bad. I guess if there's one thing I can do well, it's to calm people down, and just let them cry, and to just listen, listen, listen. Because it's all that a lot of people need... a shoulder to cry on and a listening and caring heart to accompany them.

Just before we ended our conversation, almost one and a half hours later, she thanked me, again and again, for being there. This time, it was me feeling embarassed, and feeling like there's no need to thank at all.

I guess that's what my boss feels.

And I guess what goes around, comes around too.