Home again

Kitty greeted me as I silently opened the door. She rubbed her head against my feet, and was the only one to welcome me back. Everyone else was asleep. After some nine hours of travelling it's nice to see a familiar face, even if that's of your pet.

The train pulled away from Strasbourg, and I sat alone in my cabin. It took a while to realise that I'm leaving, after the last two weeks having passed like two hours in my mind. As the train sped into the hilly landscape of Alsace, I wondered when I will return again.

Sometime soon, that's for sure. When I first visited Strasbourg on that high school trip, I was but an innocent boy of fifteen. Walking around the old city, neck sore from staring at the soaring cathedral, little did I know then that my feet would take me back there, again, and again, and again. Perhaps I have a special bond with the city, and undoubtedly it will only grow stronger as Sunny grows older.

It was strange to see Sunny after almost half a year. He stared at me, and turned to hug his mommy by the legs, scared as if he had seen something frightening. I tried to reach out, to touch his little arm, but he pushed me away. It was a little gesture, but meaningful one, and one that made me somewhat disappointed. He had forgotten me, I thought, after all that we've been through together, after all the times I've been there for him and his mommy...

But soon enough, Sunny and I reconnected... more and more, with each passing day. Perhaps it was through the nightly baths that I gave him, during which I always end up being soaked from the splashes and kicks he makes, or perhaps it was the little cuddles I give him whenever he climbs over me in the morning and giggles in my ear to wake me. Whatever the reason, he didn't see me as a stranger any more, and that is a warming feeling.

It's funny how a baby can touch you so, and each time I visit him, I realise the power of his very being, and what an affect he has on me. Before he was a fragile being, so frail, and couldn't even sit up by himself. This time, he was crawling all over the place, and at times even daringly discovering the art of walking on his feet. Before, the world was whatever he saw from his pram or from the arms of his mommy. Now, the world was wherever his little hands and little knees could bring him. Before, he played with stuffed animals and cute little baby toys. Now, anything and everything could be a potential plaything. Which makes the world an exciting but also dangerous place.

A couple of times he hurt himself, bumping into cupboards, getting his little fingers stuck between in the doorway, chocking on toothpaste, and even swallowing a coin. But nothing seemed to take away his energy and life. Buddhism talks about living in the present moment... well for a baby life is really "here and now"... his needs, his curiosity, his movements, his cries, screams... all reflectinng what he wants there and then. Unlike grown ups, who fret and dwell in the already-gone past, and worry and prophesise about the unknown future, causing themselves unnecessary suffering and pain in the process. There's really a lot you can learn from a baby. Only a shame that most people tend to dismiss a baby as just a baby.

Coming back, to work and to my studies, I feel like I'm missing something in life, something I've left back there. But then again, I feel refreshed and full of life, because I've been able to see and feel life in its prime, in baby Sunny.