Mother's Day

The other day I lost my scarf. It was a grey one, and a warm one, one that my mum gave me for Christmas one year, some years ago. Being careless I forgot it while attending a lecture. It was only stepping into the pouring rain and the cold North Sea wind did I realise what I had lost something so precious.

Luckily, I found it again the next day. I put it around me as soon as I saw it, and I felt so warm again. I am lucky, because I have a mum who cares. And sometimes I forget that, the way like I forgot to take my scarf with me. But then I find that care and warmth, and realise how precious it all is.

I spoke to mum just now, like we would do every Sunday. She would tell me about her week, and I would tell her mine. In the half an hour or so on the phone, we would bond and bridge the distance and time separating us.

Sadly, the main thing we talked about this week was about... money. More specifically, money for my brother. He's been wanting to buy a flashy new car for sometime now, and recently managed to get a loan from the bank. But the problem is it's not enough... Actually it's more than enough, but it's not enough because the car he wants has a bigger engine, and of course the bigger the engine the more expensive it is. The main difference between a car with a 1.4 litre engine and a 1.8 litre engine is that when you press the gas pedal, the car with the bigger engine accelerates faster. Faster, by perhaps a few seconds or so... but for those few seconds, the price difference is around 3000 Euros.

So the other day he called my mum and asked her to borrow some money. I was very upset when I heard he had done that. For the last couple of months I had told him very clearly and time and again, if he wants to buy a car, use whatever money he has and buy one that he can actually afford. I laid it all out before him: he's been working for less than two years, yet already now he wants to buy a car that's going to be more than his annual salary! I reminded him what little our mum has at the moment, and of all the mortgage burdens she has to shoulder every month... Why do you need a car that can accelerate faster by a few seconds if all you're be doing is using it to get to work and back? Why buy such a new and good car now, when you're just starting out careerwise? And I even asked him: do you really need a bigger car, or do you actually want a bigger car? He admitted that he only wants one.

But, like so many times, my advice and words vanished in the wind, and he went to ask money from my mum despite of all the reasons I mentioned not to. And like the mum who would do anything to please her child, the money was transfered immediately.

I was hurt when she told me about it all just now. For a long time I said nothing. She continued to say, in ways and words of a caring and understanding mum, how much she understands my brother, and how tenacious he can be once he sets his eyes and mind on something he really wants... I asked her why, and she told me how she would do anything to make him happy, and that everything else is not that important... She'll get by somehow, spend less here and there, and she'll get by somehow. True words. Painful words.

At the end of our conversation, I softly said to her: "Happy Mother's Day..."

She thanked me, and told me to take good care of myself. I said the same back, almost inaudibly...

All I could think of was how bizarre it is that on this day when children of the world are thanking for their mum's hardwork and love, my mum would be the one to be giving a gift.