Visitation

There she lay, in a beautiful,  elegant black dress. Thick makeup,  wig, eyes closed. I stood there before her,  as so many stood before her open casket quietly. Our dearly beloved, a caring,  warm, kind and so loving person, now a cold corpse. It's surreal. It's cruel and hard to get your head around.

I've yet to really shed a tear. Ive gone through , been that stoic,  strong person,  at least on the outside. But I fear it's just a matter of time.

Several came up to me and asked if I'm family , hugged and comforted me as if I were part of the family. I feel like an intruder,  but the real family as really taken me in  as if I were part of their own, even though I've only known them and my late friend for just over two and a half years.  But how I've received such kindness,  such love and care from her... Like an older sister or loving auntie I've never had.

I was asked to help carry the carry tomorrow/in 5 or so hours... A great honour，a solemn walk with the loved ones and our dearly departed till her final resting  place... Perhaps this explains why I cannot sleep, even though it's been such S long and tiring month of hospitals and work, and seeing her gradual decline...