I've been at home for the whole day, feeling useless and depressed, feeling utterly wracked with sorrow and hopelessness. How did I get to this point? How did I let myself fall so low?
Loss of love, loss of companionship and meaning... I fell , gradually, into the believe there was something stable and real, and now I need to climb out of that cesspool of attachment, desire and rid myself of all that was surreal and tell myself I am worth it,remind myself i am able to live life on my own again.
My cousin called me as she noticed my songs were so sad and lonesome... And that messages were read but not replied to... She sensed something was wrong, and indeed, I've been so destroyed and a complete wreck for the better part of the past week or so. The fact that the anniversary of mum's passing is coming up isn't helping at all... It all just reminds me how lonely I am. How alone I am...
I need to shake myself out of this nonsense... This laziness and this turmoil of thoughts of despair and sorrow.
I need to rid myself of negativity and try to pick my life up again...
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