Night before departure

I've been up and down the island in the past four days. Chasing time, trying to capture the most of it. Chasing memories, trying to make them with relatives and family I have spread over the country.

It's been a rushed few days of rushed greetings, rushed getting-to-know-one-anothers, and rushed goodbyes. Physically I'm tired, weakened further by the cold that's only still taking leave. But I feel I have accomplished what I always try to do whenever I'm here, and that's to see every one and not leave any person unvisited. At times we may not say much meaningful, but most important for me is to see how my family, my friends are faring, how they are aging, and to know that they are still there, and hopefully doing well. That's more or less the case with everyone, despite the unbeatable obstacles of aging and illness, everyone seems to be alright. And that's what I pray for whenever I visit a temple, or when I kneel before my family's ancestral shrine. For people to be happy, healthy and well...

Finally back home by myself, and the daunting task of packing my suitcase(s) still lies ahead as I count down the hours and minutes till I leave home again. In these last couple of days, as I wandered around the island and the cities, I felt a strange sense of belonging mixed with a strange sense of loneliness. At times, as I stare out at the busy streets and crowds of people, I imagine what mum must feel when she is alone here by herself. It's true.... life in the big city, away from family and dear ones can be very lonesome...

I'm going to finish packing my suitcase, and then tidy up the house a bit.... so that when mum comes home in a couple of weeks, she will come home to a clean place, and be ready to start life afresh. Even though I will no longer be here with her...