One more day till the end of the first decade of the millennium. It seemed like yesterday I was sitting at home alone and playing Sim City 3000 in those first few moments of the first year of the 2000s. And now, some nine years later, I have changed, and so have many circumstances of my life changed.
The number of blog postings for this year has halved since the previous year. Maybe I just don't feel the inspiration or the frustrations to write much any more. I know that quantity counts less than quality, but to be honest, I have been lethargy and verging on lazy this entire year. I am not sure what it is, or why that is... But I do know much of the time I have spent sleeping, or in that sleep-like state of mind lying in bed. Dazed, unmotivated, unchallenged and, dare I say, depressed.
It is true I have good friends here, and a mother who cares about me dearly far away. Yet inside I feel somewhat empty of feeling, like there is a void that is longing to be filled, like there is something that is waiting to be discovered. Is that longing for love? Longing for closeness, for closure with the passing of my father, longing for some dramatic achievement and recognition, or simply longing to finish my long-overdue thesis and finding some stability?
I do not know. But maybe 2010 will hold the answer.
1 comment:
In terms of longing for love and on the road of pursuit, you´re not alone, we´re all with you. It all starts from oneself, to love ourselves, to love our families, and to love another person, and love the people and the world. peaceful cheers to you my dear dear friend.
a hot hug from sunshining Columbia.
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