They held hands together and were laughing as they made their way to the park. A mother and her children, the children playing and running around excitedly. I watched them pass, and could not but feel envy at how happy they were, together, as a family on a family day out.
I was working at the time, and one of the bonus of working as a postman is you get to meet and see all sorts of people. And that scene with the mother and children made my mind go a little numb... I tried to remember a time when my family did that together, but I could remember nothing. What came to mind were the fights, arguments, the 'cold wars' and awkward silences in which I as a kid tried to play the 'bridge' between everyone because it seemed like the natural thing to do to ease the tension. No smiles, no holding hands, no play time and fooling around with the sibling.
I know it doesn't help to dwell on these thoughts and unpleasant memories. But then when I think about the situation with my family today, I cannot be feel upset and wonder why there is so little love and communication between us. A deep emptiness filled my insides as I thought about how in this big, wide world there seems to be no one close to me and who I'm close to.
It's been more than ten years since I last lived with my parents. Ten years since my family was last a 'family' under one roof. With my parents living elsewhere, my brother and I living together but living separate lives, we only get to see each other on and off, and for a month or two at most each time. We've become scattered, and our bond with one another diluted.
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