Showing posts with label uni. Show all posts
Showing posts with label uni. Show all posts

28 November 2008

School politics



It was a holiday reception, a get together, but there were tensions in the room. I'm sensitive to these kind of unspoken languages.

Universities, I guess like all places where people congregate in confined spaces, are breeding grounds for competition, intrigue and excesses of pride and predjudice. I've seen it at my last university, and I see it again here. And it's disappointing, because the last thing I want is to be involved or drawn in in any way.

But I guess it's inevitable. I'm part of the system, or perhaps the system is part of me, and I'm sort of asked to take sides... with them or against them? I want to chart my own course, neutrality, and not have to bother with power play and displays. Yet, suddenly I am told today Ive been drafted into a project aimed to bridge two sides.... when in fact, it seems like it's one side trying to assert domination over the other. I politely smiled, non-committedly, but I knew deep down I am roped in.

I was only there for two hours, but I left the room like I've just spent the whole day exhausting myself, even though I've done little else than just smile and make small talk. There are those who are terribly good at it, those who can smooth-talk anyone with authority and influence. And I'm not one of these people. I'm glad I'm not, and that I keep down until I'm discovered. If ever.

Well, at least the food was good.

06 October 2007

Poor pay!


Just as I was thinking things at work were going so well, suddenly something comes through the mail and tells you differently!

Last week was the first official work week. It was busy, trying to get myself into the position and get used to the fact that I'm the teamleader in charge of two (soon to be four) people underneath me. I know these people from before, so I don't really see myself as "I'm in charge", but more as a team working together as equals. I think we work well together, and to encourage them and make them feel more 'at ease', I bought some fresh orange juice, donuts and even treated them to lunch. I hope they'll be 'happy workers', and feel good being at the office. That's my philosophy... if you're happy at work, you're more likely to be committed and more able to 'give' yourself to work, and that makes the whole atmosphere at work pleasant.

I opened the mail today, and it was my contract. They want me to sign it and return it ASAP. It contains all the details of my position, and also (very importantly) my salary. To my surprise (more like shock), I will be getting paid much less than they had already agreed! It's more than 400 Euros less, and which is a lot of money! Money I wanted to use to save up if I want to go abroad and study again!

In August when they started to negotiate about me staying on to work and coordinate the big moot court competition, they had shown me approximately how much I'd be earning. They even budgeted my salary into the costs of organising the competition, so it was pretty much clear. All this time I was of course under the impression I'd be making that X amount of money, and that was the basis on which I made all my plans to save up money, to use to pay bills and pay my parents for rent.

And suddenly, they send me a contract with so much less!!! I was so disappointed... but I had been warned by my colleagues that the university is not just bureaucratic, but also very, very cheap and expects people to work full-time on a part time salary. I mean, what is stated on my contract is just 100 Euros more every month when I was employed as a student assistant!!! And I know for a fact that what they're offering now is not much more than a cleaner at my building ( I spoke to one recently).

After taking away the computers that my team need to work, they do this? What are they trying to do? Cut back on costs? They can start by renting a cheaper building, instead of throwing away tens of thousands every month just on rent...

I'm not going to sign the contract, but I'll go make some noise! Who do they think they are? And to be honest, at this stage they need me more than I need them. If they're not willing to pay me the amount they wrote down in August, go find someone else. They can go find someone else who knows the competition like I do. They can go find someone and ask them to start organising this competition from scratch. See if they can have as much success.

Ridiculous...

01 September 2007

Induction



I'm not a new student, so technically I don't need all that craziness and drunkedness in the first week of university. But today happened to be someone's birthday party, and I went. To be honest, I was a bit reluctant, because there was nobody I knew at the party, except for the birthday girl, and my best girl-friend. I actually made me appearance at the party conditional on my friend being present.

It actually didn't turn out to be too bad, and I met a nice girl who is about to start the same degree that I'm doing. So I spent some time just chatting with her, and telling her all the ins and outs of our programme, and she seemed genuinely interested. And the food wasn't too bad either, and there were plenty of drinks and snacks to go around.

As the evening went on, someone suggested that we go down to the local discotheek. This week happens to be 'induction week', and all these new students were coming into the town I study. We joked that there would be 'fresh blood', and that we might be able to pick up people by going to this dancing bar.

A bit reluctant I went. And it was just as I expected... terrible music, deafening to the ears, and all these strangers all over the place I didn't know, which made me feel a bit comfortable at times. I did dance a bit, with people I knew. And I looked around, looking at all these new people that are new in town, wondering whether there would be someone out there.......

But let's get real. How do you meet someone at a loud disco where everyone seems to be so drunk and confused? I certainly would never want to meet anyone like that. It was smoky, choking, and full of people looking for other people to get laid it seemed. Sleazy...

We danced around a bit, and the girls I was with were looking around and checking out guys, pointing out and whispering which one they thought were good-looking and suitable. I listened to their conversation, and in that sweet and 'innocent' voice of mine asked "Guys? Where? Where? Show me!"

To that one girlfriend responded by asking me: "Are you gay?"

"No, no. I'm not gay," I replied, smirking and took a drink out of my wine glass, looking and sounding smart, "I just like guys. Can't you tell?" I smirked some more. Obviously not.

At around two in the morning, I left the dancing bar with a friend who lives in the same city as I do. She and I cycled to the train station, both of us recovering from the horribly loud missing, and still hearing the hum in our ears. Both of us somewhat relieved to get out of that place.



06 August 2007

Plans!

Haven't really been doing much work 'work' lately. I guess it's the fact that I'm postponing my graduation by one month that sort of psychologically triggered the "I-can-relax-a-little" mode in me. And frankly, reading stuffy old law journals and books, and typing thousands and thousands of words can be very, very exhausting...

But still, I've been doing so other useful things too. For one, I was shocked to find out just last week that my university doesn't have the budget or any plans to hold a graduation event. Not even a little get together before we all part different ways. I mean what's the point of working so hard throughout the year and not having a proper event to finish it off officially? So I started to email my course coordinator, and suggested to him that we really should do something.

And immediately (almost) he agreed! I have some 'influence' at the place I work, and I think I can easily get a great room for my class to get together... even if it's just for drinks and snacks. So I've been sending out emails and planning this, something I really, really enjoy doing!

It's funny because I dread planning my own life and my future, even if it's just what I want to do the very same day... but when it comes to planning something for other people, then I jump at the opportunity and get very organised. I really love planning, organising things, and seeing everything fall into place and knowing that people are enjoying themselves. I don't do it for the credit or the praise, but just seeing people happy and making something memorable is already a great joy.

And this morning there was another thing that really got my excitement going. A good friend of mine and I were just talking and discussing... and suddenly she mentioned she'd really like to go to Auschwitz someday. Immediately in my mind I was thinking: "That's one of the must-go places on my list of must-go places!"

So we ending up planning and thinking about the trip the whole morning. It's still in the fragile planning stage, and we're not even sure if it'll go through because of our time constraints... but maybe, just maybe we could be travelling across Europe next week or so, and be standing at the gates of perhaps the most gruelsome concentration camp in human history.

11 July 2007

Reading and writing


Reading and writing... reading and writing... seems to be all I'm doing nowadays...

In a way I'm glad I'm getting into the rhythm of working on my thesis, especially after almost one whole month of not working on it. But then I'm starting to feel the pressure too, since the deadline is really approaching fast if I want to graduate in August. It's getting to the point I'm even dreaming of thesis when I sleep... can't remember about what exactly, but I'm pretty sure it's on my mind when I lie in bed.

To be honest, I'm not even sure if I'm going in the right direction at all, and not even sure if I'll be able to produce something coherent and original, but I'm just reading and writing... reading and writing...

Somebody give me some encouragement...!

01 July 2007

How are things?


The weather suddenly brightened today, and it seems like summer is finally returning, after the weeks of rain and coldness. I wish the same could be said about my mood at the moment.

Already the first day of July, and I've got one month exactly to finish off my masters thesis if I want to graduate at the end of summer. Or, put simply, one month to start!

Another week went by, and still I'm making so little progress. I read, and read, and read, and have so many pages of notes and ideas, but the problem is starting to write. To write, I need a structure, and I need a clear research question. What is it that I want to prove? Why am I writing this thesis? Why is this thesis important to the field of study? What issue am I addressing here?

I'm not sure.

All I know is I want to write about the concept of 'international community', but I'm not sure what exactly I want to write about. There are so many issues, like who or what is the international community... what are the values of the international community... when can we see the international community in action? Sure I can just ramble on about my own personal opinions of how this so-called 'international community' is nothing more than a few powerful states masquerading as the brain, heart and limbs of the world, but I need to write something that's 'l-e-g-a-l', something that's based on research and something that can be supported by the opinion of leading scholars and practitioners. And that's the hard part...

And that's just one part of what is on my mind at the moment... if I'm to graduate soon, I also need to think about my future and applying to jobs! At the moment I'm just putting all my eggs into one basket, and hoping that I'll get this dream position starting October. I got into the first round, and now there's a one-in-three chance of being selected. And July is the month I'll know if I have an opportunity or not... if I have a position, I'm supposed to hear from them before mid-July... if not, I'll not hear anything at all.

And it's killing me having to wait, wait, wait since May. If I get it, most likely for the foreseeable future I'm more or less on track. If not, I'll be as lost as ever, and have to start wondering what I want to do again, which is something I really have a difficult time deciding.

I'll be so glad when this month is over... and it's just started.

28 May 2007

Walk


It probably wasn't such a good idea to walk around in the rain, especially when my throat is aching and I feel a cold coming. But I needed it.

With an exam looming tomorrow, I've been feeling pretty down and low, again. All the motivation and energy seemed to have been drained out of me, and instead of getting down to do some studying, I've been sleeping and sleeping. Not that I'm tired or so, but seems like sleeping could take away the days and waking moments.

The weather's not been too kind either. Low-lying clouds, rain and wind. I know that it's the very last exam, but still there's nothing to motivate me onwards. Seems like whatever I read, the words go through me and I forget instantly... worse is I don't really have a clue what we're expected to know from the huge book we've been given to revise. It's as if I couldn't really care less, even though it's so important...

I think it started around a month ago, because of another course I was doing. A group of us had worked so hard and so long on producing a memorial and arguing in front of a mock court. We were so committed and dedicated, had great arguments and performed well in our presentations. Our written arguments was around 50 pages in total, and extremely professionally done. Yet we got this incompetent and extremely frigid teacher who assessed our work. We ended up with a disappointing mark, even though compared to so many others we really worked together as a team and had all our arguments well thought out and consistently presented.

I didn't think it would affect me this much, but it really has. We spoke to our course coordinator, but basically he said there's nothing much that can be done. But the damage has been done, and all of us feel so deflated and discouraged from the whole experience. It's as if saying hardwork means nothing at all, whereas people who just throw anything on paper get similar grades. Why bother trying if this is the result we're going to get? Throughout the whole year I've been quite satisfied with the course so far... but because of this, and a lot of other petty little things that's been accumulating, I'm really feeling angry and bitter towards this entire masters programme, and the whole university.

It took a walk in the rain to get this out of me. I'll be so glad when this whole fiasco is all over.

07 March 2007

Values and interests


They say there is law that applies everywhere, because the law is the law, and is supposed to mean the same to everyone, no matter where. The law is certain, black and white, and protects the weak against the strong.

And there are values... idea(l)s, perhaps, that certain people (or states) cherish that should be protected and developed because it is seen as necessarily 'good', indisputably 'moral' and 'just'. Contrast this with interests... a self-motivation which everyone (and every state) tries to pursue so that they benefit most, and mostly at the expense of others. It is these values and interests which often makes the law appear more like a tool for those who are willing and able to (ab)use it to their own ends.

In the last couple of days I've come across two things that have made me, more than ever, more skeptical about the 'nieceties' of law, especially the interantional kind, which we lone human beings are almost powerless to influence, yet which affects us all in so many, many ways. One was some of the readings I've had to read about the so-called 'universal' human rights, and the other was a lecture I attended last night, given by an influential (and refreshingly critical) international lawyer from the University of London.

Why is international law so influential? Because through the countless number of international, multinational, bilateral and multilateral treaties and agreements there are, our lives are being regulated, to a large extent also protected, but to some extent also limited. Our fundamental rights and freedoms to life, to speech, to work and to found a family are subscribed by international law... as are our responsibilities should we commit certain heinous crimes like torture or genoicide. The environment, and how to save it from further deterioation and certain extinction, is governed by numerous agreements to cut greenhouse gases, to stop mining, overfishing, and to promote so-called 'sustainable development'. The global economic and capitalist network composed of markets, media and coporations is held in place by a complex regime of free trade and flow of goods and people. And international law regulates war and peace, it says that certain behaviour like aggression will not be tolerated, and international law has set in place security arrangements to ensure that 'aggressors' are dealt with under the banner of 'collective peace and security'. And if there is to be war and conflict, international law underwrites the standards of what you can and cannot do in armed conflict, and provides the bare minimum amount of protection for civilians and property.

Yet... international law is made predominantly by states, and the skeptic, like me, would say mostly by states which are big and powerful. How fair is it that certain states are able to sit in the Security Council just because they were 'winners' from a world war sixty years ago and wield almost unchecked authority over world affairs, and be armed with the veto power if certain events or decisions don't suit their interests? How just is it that certain states are able to wage war against whomever they see fit, supposedly in the name of promoting freedom and democracy, but actually pursuing and protecting their economic and geopolitical interests? How is it that certain states claim the right to preach and champion certain values, and if necessary take action to 'intervene' to make all other states a mould of themselves? And how can transnational corporations, many as influential and affluent as states, control and monopolise so much of the world's wealth and production, while so many countless are left out of the most basic resources for survival, let alone the benefits of the supposed progress and comforts that the age of post-modernity is to usher in?

There is much talk of principles and idea(l)s like the "international community", "democracy", "perpetual peace", "global prosperity"... but in truth the world is any thing but a community, anything but democratic, while peace and prosperity are reserved for the few lucky enough
to have been born in the Western/Northern hemisphere. True, much progress has been made because of an ever closer cooperation between states and peoples the world over, in the area of combating disease, scientific advancements, cultural exchange and political goodwill. Yet, behind these apparent successes lie the reality that the international system as a whole, and the international legal order in particular, is appalingly predjudiced and shockingly fragile to the manipulation by the few at the expense of the many.

I don't want to pinpoint certain states and people for all the faults...I don't want to criticise for the sake of criticising, but in truth, from a historical point of view, the 'west', embodied firstly by Europe alone, later by the United States together with Europe, and now more or less by the US alone, has been most focal in championing the concept of 'the international'. The ages of discovery, empires, slavery and trade, and the late age of colonialisation led to the expansion of 'western' ideas and influences to those places and people deemed savage and god-less. Religion, under Christianity, was used as a 'civilising' mechanism to convert natives into subjects sharing similar, if not same, ideologies, while trade, under trading companies, was used as a 'marketising' tool to transform natives into consumers to satisfy the unsatiable market of production and consumption. And laws, exported and implemented wholesale, were used to legitimise imperial rule, to justify territorial acquisitions and defend against local rebellions. The international was thus first a result of the European (and later America) going beyond their own continents; a direct result of the 'west's' infusion of markets, power, culture and guns into the rest of the world's territories and populations.

Thus we have the idea of the 'civilised nations', originally coined in the age of colonisation, as a way to distinguish European states and peoples from the 'rest'. The idea developed into 'international community', through the League of Nations and United Nations frameworks, under which supposedly all states enjoy sovereign equality and dignity. Though the decolonisation of the 1960s and 1970s changed the balance of power, as well as voting behaviour and direction of the 'international community', the established order of powerful (winner) states is still unbroken. 'Civilisation' turned into something home-grown and cultivated as a result of the 'west's' shared history of ideological, social, economic and political developments from the age of Enlightenment to the liberitarian and Industrial Revolutions. Today, talk of 'civilisation' is frowned upon, and mention of its clash is discredited. Yet, other slogans and notions are used in its stead, notions like 'democracy', 'human rights', 'rule of law', and 'good governance'.

As virtuous as desirable as they are, and I do agree they are the next best alternative to the worst excesses of tyranny, these idea(l)s are far from being neutral and universal. If anything, 'democracy' and all the other catch phrases, are being used as yardsticks by the 'west' to measure other states against, as a means to classify, justify, divide and rule the world, as they did centuries ago. Speak of alternatives, act in the alternative, and the policing actions of sanctions, isolation, and worse, military force, strike down hard on any one or any state that dares to differ. 'Good' and 'evil', 'us' and 'them', 'friend' and 'foe'... all so simple, simplified and all so black and white. Either you are for, or against the new world order. For there is no other alternative, no middle way.

It makes someone like me, who has been studying and working and hoping for a better world in a better tomorrow, disappointed. Really, really disappointed.

21 December 2006

It's almost Christmas...


Oh, that wonderful feeling.

It started the moment I put the last punctuation mark on my exam this morning. No more international law... no more assignment deadlines... no more pre-exam sleeplessness nights... at least for the next couple of days.

Had to quickly go straight to work after the exam, but I was feeling somewhat lighter. As the day went by, filled with hours and hours of stuffing envelops and sticking stamps at work, I realised how tired I was. Three hours or so I slept last night...sometime between 3am and 6am. And despite feeling that adrenaline rush just before and after the exam the drowsy feeling and sore eyes started to show.

I really don't like talking about exams after it... and like it even less when people insist on discussing what you put for this and that question. But I guess on the whole I did well, or at least, well enough to pass . And just now I received an email from the lecturer of the other course I was doing this term (International Relations), and I managed to pass with a 9. The lecturer added he actually has "never given a higher mark" before! : ) He even said I met the test of an "advanced Master student with honour". I think it's the paper I did... a critical assessment of the EU's human rights dialogue with China, written in almost as many words as a full masters thesis. Maybe I'll post it up sometime, because even I'm very satisfied with it (and it isn't often).

So, three months, almost 500hrs of study, four subjects, thousands of pages of readings, two exams, two class presentations, five papers later, I can't believe I'm actually half way through my course already. Two weeks of holidays we have, but in the first week of January we have two exams and one more paper due. Not much of a break from studies I guess.

Next few days I'll just 'shut down' for a short while. I think I deserve, and need it. Two more days, and then I'm off to Strasbourg, to see my friend and her sweet little son. Ironic that I should leave home to be home for Christmas. But then again, family is not always the people you're related to.

Still need to do some first-minute Christmas shopping, send a few warm wishes to people near and far, think of all the people and places that made this year so worthwhile, and me smile. Because...

...it's almost Christmas.


PS:
The paper is uploaded on my other blog!!

20 December 2006

Grade!


Just got my grade for my third and last assignment for Public International Law.

Overjoyed, and surprised too, to see I've steadily improved since that 7 I first got in September, and now up to 8.5! : ) Those weeks of reading and writing and long hours in the library really paid off... Which puts me above the class average, and in a more (or less) confident position to face the exam tomorrow!

OK, must study. 19 hours and counting....

09 December 2006

Spinning...


Spin, spin, spin, spin, spin. My head is spinning. And I'm smiling as I write.

Just got home, and on the way I actually heard the early birds starting to sing.
A double birthday, a night of frolicking and drinking. What are the odds of having two friends who have the same birthday? Weeks in the planning. A 'surprise' party themed around celebrations of six-year-olds. Balloons, paper party hats galore. We pretended to be kids, and anyone who said a dirty, dirt word or did anything naughty was sent to the corner for 'time out'. Crazy, but fun.

But like all parties with uni students it turned to a drinking game. We drank 'grape juice', 'fizzy water', 'root beer'...and soon starting playing dangerous QandA games tittling on the verge of the very, very personal, and very, very obscene. How many times have you blown? The last time you had 'birds and the bees'? THe last time was when? Do you swallow? You like it big? Do you like it from behind? How big? What's your shoe size? Nothing was taboo, nothing unasked. The very sources of gossip and rumours were sprung tonight. Flirting, and sexual vibes hung in the air. Bottle after bottle of 'fruit juice' and 'bubbly water' were cracked open, and poured into longing throats.

And in less than 48 hours, a 2500 word assignment is supposed to be due.

But hey, at least I got a hug from the birthday boy.

23 November 2006

Wing Lam (1981-2006)

Just learned that a friend of mine passed away last month...
Still trying to come to grips with the news. A mix of numbness, shock, and sadness.

I met him first in London in the final year of my studies at SOAS. He was an exchange student from Leiden, where he was studying Chinese. We had classes together once or twice a week, shared the occassional lunches and movies, drinks and outings. Like me, he grew up between two worlds and two cultures, and we found comfort in each other knowing that we were not alone. One of the many things that we had in common.

I last saw him sometime ago here in Leiden, just before he went on an year exchange in Taiwan. He went on a trip to the seaside. And never returned.

My heart goes out to his family and loved ones... may they have the strength and comfort to cope in these dark moments.

Dear friend, you will be much missed.

21 November 2006

Too much!


One of those moments I just feel like ranting.

Had four hours of lectures today from nine to one, went to work till almost six. Got home, cooked and ate, and have been reading and reading for tomorrow's seminar for over four hours till now. Half past midnight.

I'm really feeling the stress pile up, since I've got an essay deadline this Friday, and still need to prepare for a presentation coming Monday, and have to start researching and writing two other papers by the 15th of December... And at the back of my mind I keep on wondering what (or perhaps the question is when!) I could write my entry for the Winter Anthology, also due on the same day! : (

I'll be sooo relieved when this term is finally over...

20 November 2006

"Porno!"


I just can't stop smiling to myself when I think back at what happened in class today. It's not everyday that you get to stand in front of the whole International Relations class and shout "Porno" [Dutch for 'porn'] : P

For the last few weeks we've been having student presentations, and each time just before class starts someone has to set up the equipment for PowerPoint. I've more or less become that someone!

Just as I hooked the laptop up and beamer started to project the image onto the white screen, a friend whispered something mischievously to me: "Put the ... on"

I really didn't hear what he said, and shouted across the room. "What? What did you say?"

Again, he cupped his mouth and whispered with a devious smile "Put on the porn..."

As innocent as I am, I thoughtlessly answered back, again in a loud, clear voice so as not to have any confusion: "Eh? PORNO?"

How embarassing, as I realised afterwards what I just did. The bunch of guys at the back of the room started chuckling, and some other people turned to look at me, wondering what was going on. Our lecturer was (thankfully) busily engaged in conversation with this one person.

I swear...I really am all that innocent.

16 November 2006

"I wish I could be gay"


I've never met anyone who wished he was gay. Until last night, at 3am, lying next to him on the floor of a girl whose room we were crashing at for the night. Perhaps it was the alcohol talking...

It had been a long night, of studying, football watching at a pub, drinking, pizza-eating at close to 11, pool-playing and more drinking. When we got to our home for the night we were pretty much tipsy, but somehow strangely energetic, and probably not at all worried we had class in the morning.

So the three of us lay down, music in the background, and chatted and chatted, about mundane randomness, lawyery nerdiness and exchanged laughs and chuckles under the clear night sky. One thing led to another, and I somehow brought up the discussion we had about sodomy in class the week earlier. And of course the issue of homosexuality eventually got roped in. The girl mentioned how her country is now measuring the economy in terms of 'pink money' as well. "Pink money", we, the two unsuspecting guys on the floors asked. Yeah, apparently gays spend and contribute significant amounts of money to the economy, because (cliche, cliche) they're more modern, fashion and health conscious, know how to live well and in style...etc etc, so they're really a big group of consumers nowadays.

Then came the comment.
"I wish I could be gay."
"What?" I had my eyes closed, and immediately they opened. Of course I heard him the first time.
"Yeah, I wish I could be gay. It's so cool being gay."
"Well, some say being gay is the trend nowadays," I said suggestively, chuckling.
"Yeah, I know, but I'm just not."
"Hm, how do you know? Have you tried before?"I proded more.
"No, but I'm just not. I just can't get myeslf to be gay."
"Well, maybe it's just a phase, and it'll pass soon," I joked.
The conversation sort of went on from there. I asked whether he had any gay experiences, which he didn't. And I asked why, he just said he liked girls, and just couldn't do it. Tit for tat, back and forth, and at one point I said something along the lines of "Hm, how did you guess I was (gay)?"

All in the spirit of good fun and frolicking. Somehow we ended up making 'bedroom noises', groaning and moaning and pretending to be 'feeling up one another'. The girl lay in her bed and regreted aloud how she ended up with us on the floor.

I went to sleep, albeit for a mere four hours last night, smiling...

14 November 2006

Crime of sodomy


It's not everyday you get to discuss sodomy in class, if only in passing.

But today I started a new course in International Criminal Law, and we were discussing issues of extradition (ie State A wants State B to give up a person who committed a serious crime in State A). So say, hypothetically, John murder someone in Australia and then escapes to the US, Australia has the right to demand the US extradite John back to be prosecuted. Nothing funny about this, until...

We come to the Netherlands. Many things are legal here where it is illegal (and therefore a crime) elsewhere... here you can legally abort, you can use soft drugs, you can legally solicit a prostitute, euthanasia is legal...and sodomy too is not a criminal offence.

So say John 'commits' sodomy in Iran, where the sentence may be death, and he now escapes to the Netherlands. To the Dutch authorities, John did nothing wrong, so there's no reason to extradite him back to Iran, where he most likely will face a death warrant.

After class a bunch of my friends were discussing and joking around this, and I nonchalantly asked them what the law on sodomy is in their countries. One response made me laugh out loud:

"Well, in university we didn't really do much sodomy."

I beg to differ.



---
related news: Iran just executed yet another homosexual, and critcised western countries with same-sex marriages as "the weakness of western culture".

19 October 2006

It feels like a break...



I can put away the 700+ course book away for now. Just had a mid term test this morning, and despite having just slept four and something hours last night I feel suprisingly 'alive'. One more long, busy day tomorrow, and it's a week of Autumn Break! : )

I guess the test went alright. It's International Relations, one of those courses in which you can sort of get a passing grade if you know a thing or two about current affairs, history and international politics. Besides the technical stuff about theories of realism, liberalism the rest seems like 'general knowledge'. Though that didn't mean it was that easy. It's been over five years since I had a 'test' (technically not exam), and I, and others, really had difficulty knowing how much to write and what to write.

Ten questions, 90minutes, and we were supposed to write 100 words for each question. How do you discuss whether the post-Cold War order is based on world or international order and discuss the differences in 100words? How do you assess the disadvantages and advantages (there are advantates!!) of nuclear proliferation, and refer to North Korea specifically? Or even debate about the difference between the European Union and other regional arrangements, as well as analyse the 'final goal' of European integration in just as few words? I just wrote and wrote what I knew, using one side of A4 for each question, and with my handwriting that's a couple of hundred words per answer!

After a quick bit to eat, two friends and I decided to 'relax' and try catach a movie to kill time before this fascinating extracurricular lecture tonight. We walked from cinema to cinema, but in the little town of Leiden cinemas don't open till 19.00! Shocked, horrified and bored we walked a bit more...and actually ended up in... church. A really beautiful Calvinist church, completely spacious and empty on the inside, and by the looks of it you can hire the church for all sorts of events. On a picture I saw people having a dinner party, with wine and all, right in the main hall. In a month's time the International Whisky Festival will be held there too. This is, after all, the Netherlands, where literally anything goes.

Some people today were talking about Facebook today, and how wonderful it is. It's basically an online "social utility that connects you with the people around you", where you can search and connect with (long-lost) friends, and meet new ones. I've signed up, and part of the 'personal details' asks whether you're interested in 'man or woman'. I'm just thinking if this would be a place to subtly 'come out' if I just tick 'man'. I mean my friends will be able to see all the details, and if they look closely enough they might see and find out. I've heard many secrets are revealed and spread on this thing, and I'm not really bothered if words get out. But then I wonder how they would take it. Really inclined to do so...

Really looking forward to this little break. Time to catch up on some reading, get prepared for up-coming assignments, comment in my blog on issues I've been dying to write about, work further on "Loving you, loving me"...and of course, relax a little! Maybe take a trip outdoors...get out into nature and the wild. Something I miss, even though the last couple of weeks since term started has been pretty wild enough.

14 October 2006

Assignment


He was pretty upset and disappointed, our lecturer. After having marked our first papers, it seemed obvious that some of the people in class are not taking this study seriously enough. The average was below a six (out of ten), and he'd been lenient not to give any mark lower than a four.

The next ten minutes were spent laying out the common mistakes. Poor citations, poor use of footnotes, poor sources (some people actually used Wikipedia)... bad and groundless arguments, irrelevant discussions of history and politics. It was an assignment discussing the law surrounding Palestine's right to self-determination and statehood, pure and simple. And if people had been paying attention in the lectures and tutorials there was really no excuse to get a poor grade. Some 'creative' person included a cartoon in the paper, which caused our lectuerer to sarcastically point out that the art faculty is down the road. Another stuck a sticker bearing the Palestinian flag on the front page.

I sat there wondering whether this is still the masters class I had enrolled myself on. I mean basic paper writing are skills taught and drilled into you since the very first day of undergrad studies. A paper must have a beginning, a middle and an end. You take (an) argument(s), discuss it, support it, compare it, contrast it, and reach your own conclusion. You use authoritive sources, cases, resolutions, academic articles, legal journals to back up your arguments. You include footnotes, references, a bibligraphy...and most important of all, you include your name in the paper. If you don't know this, how can you even be prepared to start writing a 20,000word dissertation towards the end of the year?

As a result the next assignment will be even more strict. To avoid people writing useless and irrelevant political and historical analysis, the word limit has been cut to 1200words. A bunch of us, who had finished the paper already, protested. No use, since we, the class as a whole, must learn, and there can be no exceptions. Which means I'll now have to spend more time trimming my essay, whereas I've got a mid-term test next week as well.

Not happy...

09 October 2006

Silent night



22.15
Just came home from uni. On the way back I walked passed this forest. It's one of those still, silent nights, cold but not too cold, misty but not too misty, one of those nights that everything just seems about right. Even my mood.

Yeah, it's been a long day at work and uni. Started off with a meeting of my colleagues at the moot court organising committee, then headed into the library just after lunch to quickly get through the reading for today's lecture. At one point, our dramatic lecturer burst into song as he explained, more as an 'aside', how at the signing of the NATO Treaty the accompanying banddeliberately played songs by George Gershin's "It ain't necessarily so". Just reading the lyrics, and putting it in the Cold War context, I realised why:

Li'l David was small, but oh my !
Li'l David was small, but oh my !
He fought Big Goliath
Who lay down an' dieth !
Li'l David was small, but oh my !
Well, after the lecture and a quick bite to eat it was library time. Spent a lot of time discussing the paper with my friends, like good lawyers we are, construing the meaning behind the words. At first glance, the assignment seems easy enough: who, out of the three suspected states of Lebanon, Syria and Iran, is attributable for the acts of Hezbollah's attacks on Israel.

Given the facts, and what we know from the international case law, it seemed like it was easy to just apply the rules. But which rules, how, to what extent, in what context...? All sorts of questions starting coming up. On the face of it, it seemed like an easy assignment. A state is attributable for acts of private groups if it can be proven that the state has "control" over that group. But what is the extent of the control? Nicaragua says "effective control", meaning that mere financing and sponsoring with armaments is not enough. You need to be issuing direct orders and instructions to that militant group to be in "effective control". But another case, Tadic, holds the control need only be "overall control"...meaning a state need not be directing or issuing orders to be held attributable for acts of a militant group like Hezbollah. And we've not even discussed whether under the new international legal regime in the 'War on Terror' whether states 'sponsoring' or 'harbouring' terrorism will be attributable for carried acts by militant groups which cause international wrongs.

Spent the past weekend with my head stuck between the cases, legal texts and academic articles...and the more you read, the more questions you have, the more you can interpret and re-interpret the words of the assignment in another way, which gives rise to a whole new rule and application of that rule. Are we making this more complicated than it really is, and giving ourselves more work than is actually required? Will the lecturer even notice how much thought, work and effort is being put into this assignment? One cynic calculated that each paper we write actually only counts 3% of the total mark of the whole masters programme. Which makes you wonder if it's worth the many moments of conceptualising, footnoting, editing, comparing, contrasting and wrangling word games.

After almost one and a half hours of discussion, arguing, we were no further than we were when we started....but we agreed on one thing: we need to read more, brush up on our supporting arguements and will reconvene tomorrow. Court is now in recess, and will open then. Again.


01 October 2006

October rain


It's getting colder and colder, and feeling more and more like the season it's supposed to be. Last week I saw crocuses blooming in the park, flowers that don't usually appear until late March. But it's been anything but usual this year, or at least in the past few weeks. After having temperatures of close to 30C for another week, and feeling like Summer is returning again, Autumn approached, blew yellow tints onto the trees, and brought with it thunder and rain, thunder and rain that is now drenching and rumbling the world outside.

I had a pretty late and rough night last night, and got home at 4am! Not really what I intended when I went to a friend's place for dinner, but we eventually ended up 'clubbing' afterwards. Well, I wasn't too kin on the idea, and would rather be chatting and sipping wine or watching James Bond, but they insisted it was Saturday, so party we must. We went to this club, with terrible and loud techno/house music. As soon as we entered I knew I wouldn't like it, and spent the next hour looking interested and being fascinated with the candle burning in front of me. Conversation just didn't happen when you had to scream to hear or be heard.

So at around 2am we decided to get out and go somewhere else, but the guy said he wanted to go home, because he couldn't stand it anymore. Me too, so we ended up waiting for the train at close to 3am together. We talked about this and that, but nothing too intimate. At one point we poked fun at a lecturer of ours and speculated the possibility of him having a 'bum buddy' at college. We imitated sounds of two people having sex, the kind of sounds you hear on corny, poor quality porn, and broke out laughing on the empty platform while everything else was silent around us. I stood before him, and there were moments I just wanted to be 'straight' to him and ask him about all these 'signals'. I just didn't dare to. I was afraid of what may happen to this 'bond' between us that had started since we first met at induction. I was afraid to loose him, though at the same time I find myself wondering when 'little things' seem to tell me that there's something there beyond friendship. Whether I'll ever be ready to ask him, or tell him how I feel, I'm not sure. The train came. He went his way, I went mine.

Like I wrote before, when you feel 'something' toward another person, everything you see and hear tend to be through a filter, and so it's not really reliable. I mean all these brushes and innuendoes and ambiguous word play could just simply be acccidents or bad choice of words. Besides, on more than one occassion some of the things he said made it pretty clear he's as straight as can be. I promised myself not to fall too deeply, especially when it's just a fantasy and in situations and for someone in the most unlikely of circumstances.

Though, to be honest when I came home tipsy and very late last night, I felt a little 'empty' inside. The alcohol had subsided, and frankly whenever I drink I never really 'let go' unlike some people who just loose themselves. Instead, I tend to be more pensive and melancholy for some reason. Creative and reflective too. Perhaps it was the cold morning breeze, and the cold, cold drizzle...but thinking back on the evening I felt like even though I have these friends, I'm still feeling lonely... like I want that bit more, that something more than friendship...

I went to bed, and slept till after noon. Didn't do much today, but one thing was memorable: the dream I had during sleep. I'm not sure if it was about 'Leo', or him, since they're so alike, and both have been in my mind often lately. Whoever it was about, it was satisfying, unlike waking up late and cold.