Remember to enjoy yourself...

"This is supposed to be such a happy time of year, so why are you
stressed? Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and remember to enjoy
yourself."

Stressed... I really am. Really!

Been so tense lately, unable to sleep well at night, waking up late in the day, not eating well, and thinking a lot about work, so much I even dream about it in my sleep. And worse was that in the past few days, I had one of the worst stomach flus I have ever had in my entire life...

A large reason for my stress is my internship that I'm doing... or better said, not doing at all. Officially I've been 'working' for two months, but only two weeks ago did they give me the means for me to login and do work. For so many weeks, when I had time, I couldn't do any work... and no suddenly there is this big assignment, but I really have no time to do it, because of my other job... I really feel like quiting the internship, but I'm not sure how to tell them, especially since I've not done any work at all. And it seems the assignment they gave me is crucial to their trial... which makes me really feel guilty for not being able to deliver what I promised...

...and then there's work. Besides the lack of appreciation, and being told I cannot go to the Christmas dinner if I want to bring a date who is not a "partner", there's just so many little things that need to be taken care of. I have four assistents, but two of them have not shown up for some time, and this is the time when I need them the most. I understand they have exams and are busy with their own lives, but the worst is when you write to them and ask them to come, but they don't even bother to reply... Which means I have to pick up the work I gave them to do, and also do the work that I have of my own... Stress!

The last few days have been so unbearable, because of a serious bout of diahrrhea. It all started last Friday, when I felt really unwell. I thought it was the flu, and so I drank lots of juice and ate lots of fruits and vegetable. But I think I had an overdosis of vitamins, and my body simply couldn't handle it, so it all came out. I really had to go to the bathroom six, seven times a day, and evertime, just masses of liquid comes out, it's frightening. Evens so, my stomach feels like it's about to explode, because it seems to be filled with gas. My friend was really kind to me and bought me some medicine, and even cooked me some fresh home-made soup... but it turns out vegetable makes my conditions a bit worse, and for the last two days, things that came out of me were... green!

Only today did I start to feel better... and I cheered myself up a bit by going to buy a train ticket for next Friday.

One more week, and I'm going to France for Christmas... something to look forward to. Something to take away this stress, and hopefully let me enjoy myself in "such a happy time of year".