Dream

Yesterday afternoon, I felt my body start to ache and my head start to spin. Being around people who cough and cough make the chances of getting ill high, and I was sure that I was falling prey to illness.

Leaving work, I went to the supermarket and bought a lot of fresh orange juice
and lemons. Earlier in the day, I had bough tonnes of vegetables at the market, and I promised myself I'll treat myself to a big treat of vitamins. So I cooked a big pot of freshly ground tomato soup with ginger and garlic, and drank large doses of echinasea, the wonder cure against colds and flus, and I wrapped myself under the blanket and stayed in bed all night, watching the three hour long epic 'The Last Samurai', and then putting myself down to bed.

I woke up by the sound of my alarm radio, but I slept as I listened to the latest news and talk shows. In this half-state of sleep is when I'm most vulnerable to dreaming, and dream I did...

A dream full of passion and eroticism... involving someone I've had a crush on for sometime, and someone who I think has mutual feelings, but the feelings never got any chance to develop further. Let's randomly call this person R. In the dream R. and I do many sweet things together, like go on long walks, have heart-to-heart talks, look into each other in the eyes and feel the warmth grow and envelop us, and feel the connections grow closer. Our hands much touch once or twice, but never do we kiss or do anything more intimate.

Dreams are random, and the next scene we are in bed, lying next to one another... watching each other as we slowly fall asleep... Strange thing is, there is another person beside me,
so basically I'm sleeping in the middle of this bed, with R. on the one side, and this other person on the other. Then I realise who this other person is... it's this boy I had deep affection for while in high school. In real life, he never showed interest in me, because he's not (?) gay, and used to be really religious. Let's call him L.

But in dreams anything could happen, and things did happen. Even though I was more interested in R., and was facing him, L. kept on enticing me and speaking soft little words into my ears... L. started to touch me intimately, and the eroticism was overpowering, as the feelings I had for him before began to rise from deep within me. R. just lay there and watched, and did nothing, as L and I slowly and passionately pleasured one another...

The next moment, L. suddenly disppeared, and it was just me and R. in bed. R. stareted to cry, but I didn't know why. He started to cry and say I hurt him, say that I hurt him like no one has ever done, but I still didn't understand why...

"Because I love you... you never knew I love you... It was all a test, I wanted to see how much you'd wait for me, I wanted to see how long you would stay with me, if I pretended to show no interest... But look what you did..." He was crying like a boy who lost the most precious thing in his life, and was not consolable.

Indeed I never knew, never knew how much he cared or loved me... but how long do you have to wait, how much patience do you have, what do you have to go through to have to find out?