Walk in the rain

When it started to sizzle around me, I realised it was raining.

Little sizzling sounds, of small rain droplets hitting the sand beneath. Almost inaudible at first, overshadowed by the sound of the waves. I felt my face tickle with slight dampness and cold sensations.

I had been walking on the beach for I don't know how long. It was a welcome break, to clear my mind of the principles and rules on 'use of force' that's been nagging at me for the last few weeks. Finally now that the paper is finished and handed in, I can take a little break.

I needed the walk too, to get away. From the dirty mess and non-talking at home.

And I needed to get away, clear my mind, and somehow make peace with the thought that a friend of mine is gone, and gone forever. How ironic that I should be walking by the sea, that I should watch the waves pull closer and pull away when my thoughts were with him tonight. The same sea, or at least great big mass of water connected together, he lost his life to.

I walked and walked, hands clutched around my chest to shield from the cold. The beach was empty. The tourists have long left, and the restaurants and beach tents that huddled on the sand before too have disappeared.

Deserted, just me and the empty sea.

Wing Lam (1981-2006)

Just learned that a friend of mine passed away last month...
Still trying to come to grips with the news. A mix of numbness, shock, and sadness.

I met him first in London in the final year of my studies at SOAS. He was an exchange student from Leiden, where he was studying Chinese. We had classes together once or twice a week, shared the occassional lunches and movies, drinks and outings. Like me, he grew up between two worlds and two cultures, and we found comfort in each other knowing that we were not alone. One of the many things that we had in common.

I last saw him sometime ago here in Leiden, just before he went on an year exchange in Taiwan. He went on a trip to the seaside. And never returned.

My heart goes out to his family and loved ones... may they have the strength and comfort to cope in these dark moments.

Dear friend, you will be much missed.

Too much!

One of those moments I just feel like ranting.

Had four hours of lectures today from nine to one, went to work till almost six. Got home, cooked and ate, and have been reading and reading for tomorrow's seminar for over four hours till now. Half past midnight.

I'm really feeling the stress pile up, since I've got an essay deadline this Friday, and still need to prepare for a presentation coming Monday, and have to start researching and writing two other papers by the 15th of December... And at the back of my mind I keep on wondering what (or perhaps the question is when!) I could write my entry for the Winter Anthology, also due on the same day! : (

I'll be sooo relieved when this term is finally over...

Stomach pains

His girlfriend knocked on my door and asked for the telephone number of the family doctor.
Concerned, I asked what was wrong with her. And it turned out that it wasn't her, but my brother.

Apparently he's been having stomach pains for the last couple of weeks, pains that come and go, come and go, and come again. And now he's decided to go see the doctor. I left what I was doing and went to his room. He was lying in bed, covered over with blankets.

I asked him what's wrong, and sounding worried I told him he shouldn't 'bear' the pain and let it drag on for so long. The doctor has open-door hours every morning, and you should go see him, I said. He replied that he'll go see the doctor first thing in the morning.

That was the first time we talked.
In over a month.

"Porno!"

I just can't stop smiling to myself when I think back at what happened in class today. It's not everyday that you get to stand in front of the whole International Relations class and shout "Porno" [Dutch for 'porn'] : P

For the last few weeks we've been having student presentations, and each time just before class starts someone has to set up the equipment for PowerPoint. I've more or less become that someone!

Just as I hooked the laptop up and beamer started to project the image onto the white screen, a friend whispered something mischievously to me: "Put the ... on"

I really didn't hear what he said, and shouted across the room. "What? What did you say?"

Again, he cupped his mouth and whispered with a devious smile "Put on the porn..."

As innocent as I am, I thoughtlessly answered back, again in a loud, clear voice so as not to have any confusion: "Eh? PORNO?"

How embarassing, as I realised afterwards what I just did. The bunch of guys at the back of the room started chuckling, and some other people turned to look at me, wondering what was going on. Our lecturer was (thankfully) busily engaged in conversation with this one person.

I swear...I really am all that innocent.

Clingendael today

A wonderful, mind-clearing stroll through the forset today.

Really needed it. All those beautiful colours, mixed and mashed in the tree tops and on the ground took my mind off of a number of things...if only temporarily.

• Clingendael late November IX
• Clingendael late November VIII
• Clingendael late November VII
• Clingendael late November VI
• Clingendael late November VI
• Clingendael late November V
• Clingendael late November IV
• Clingendael late November III
• Clingendael late November II
• Clingedael late November 2006

me

For some reason I can't upload this to my 'profile picture'! : /

Crossing Border

Just got back from the amazing Crossing Border music festival here in The Hague. Ear drums still humming, but boy did I have a great time dancing and moving to the beat!

It's an annual three day event of arts, culture, music and performances by up-and-coming, and some pretty wellknown, artists around the world. And some friends and I decided today's programme was best, and after the evening was over we weren't disappointed at all.


Kicked off with some moody and touching blues from Bettye LaVette. Her voice and the songs were so chillingly moving, some parts felt like she was speaking to me, talking to me like a mother comforting a child, and moved me to tears. Folllowed by this Norwegian duo called Susanna and the Magical Orchestra, with a voice that was simply heavenly, especially when she sang 'Jolene'. Then, ended with this fusion of 'gangsta rap', folk song, soul, pop, funk and reggae, hip-hop and blues by Arrested Development. Amid the jumping up and down, the wringling of my body to the music, I couldn't but break out in laughter at the presence of an seventy-something year old 'papa' getting 'jigging' with it on stage with the performers.

What a night~

Seeds of intolerance

Just been told about this wonderful contest initiated by the SpreadTolerance campaign. It's short video-documentaries about an issue of intolerance and discrimination, and people can vote online for their favourite, the winner(s) receive a prize and get to support their charity of their choice.

Specifically "We Belong" and "Blood Brothers" have a gay-related theme, and both deal with the horrible kinds of discrimination and attacks

Really worth taking a look, if not to learn about some of the terrible things that fellow human beings go through, then at least to learn how a little change of attitude can go so far.

From the campaign site: Ten ways to "unlearn intolerance"

1. Be an Upstander: Speak up when you see or hear injustice.
2. Check Yourself: Where might you have intolerance? Take a test out of Harvard to see.
3. Put someone else in your own shoes: How might a person see the world differently if they lived life in your shoes.
4. Visit a house of worship other than your own.
5. Celebrate other people’s traditions.
6. Take a walk in a different neighborhood other than your own.
7. See a film with subtitles, listen to music and see art from other cultures.
8. Listen to others: Try to drop your assumption and listen to the person in the moment.
9. Educate yourself, your children or kids in your life about how to accept difference.
10. Travel to and/or learn about different cities, states and countries.

"I wish I could be gay"

I've never met anyone who wished he was gay. Until last night, at 3am, lying next to him on the floor of a girl whose room we were crashing at for the night. Perhaps it was the alcohol talking...

It had been a long night, of studying, football watching at a pub, drinking, pizza-eating at close to 11, pool-playing and more drinking. When we got to our home for the night we were pretty much tipsy, but somehow strangely energetic, and probably not at all worried we had class in the morning.

So the three of us lay down, music in the background, and chatted and chatted, about mundane randomness, lawyery nerdiness and exchanged laughs and chuckles under the clear night sky. One thing led to another, and I somehow brought up the discussion we had about sodomy in class the week earlier. And of course the issue of homosexuality eventually got roped in. The girl mentioned how her country is now measuring the economy in terms of 'pink money' as well. "Pink money", we, the two unsuspecting guys on the floors asked. Yeah, apparently gays spend and contribute significant amounts of money to the economy, because (cliche, cliche) they're more modern, fashion and health conscious, know how to live well and in style...etc etc, so they're really a big group of consumers nowadays.

Then came the comment.

"I wish I could be gay."
"What?" I had my eyes closed, and immediately they opened. Of course I heard him the first time.
"Yeah, I wish I could be gay. It's so cool being gay."
"Well, some say being gay is the trend nowadays," I said suggestively, chuckling.
"Yeah, I know, but I'm just not."
"Hm, how do you know? Have you tried before?"I proded more.
"No, but I'm just not. I just can't get myeslf to be gay."
"Well, maybe it's just a phase, and it'll pass soon," I joked.

The conversation sort of went on from there. I asked whether he had any gay experiences, which he didn't. And I asked why, he just said he liked girls, and just couldn't do it. Tit for tat, back and forth, and at one point I said something along the lines of "Hm, how did you guess I was (gay)?"

All in the spirit of good fun and frolicking. Somehow we ended up making 'bedroom noises', groaning and moaning and pretending to be 'feeling up one another'. The girl lay in her bed and regreted aloud how she ended up with us on the floor.

I went to sleep, albeit for a mere four hours last night, smiling...

Crime of sodomy

It's not everyday you get to discuss sodomy in class, if only in passing.

But today I started a new course in International Criminal Law, and we were discussing issues of extradition (ie State A wants State B to give up a person who committed a serious crime in State A). So say, hypothetically, John murder someone in Australia and then escapes to the US, Australia has the right to demand the US extradite John back to be prosecuted. Nothing funny about this, until...

We come to the Netherlands. Many things are legal here where it is illegal (and therefore a crime) elsewhere... here you can legally abort, you can use soft drugs, you can legally solicit a prostitute, euthanasia is legal...and sodomy too is not a criminal offence.

So say John 'commits' sodomy in Iran, where the sentence may be death, and he now escapes to the Netherlands. To the Dutch authorities, John did nothing wrong, so there's no reason to extradite him back to Iran, where he most likely will face a death warrant.

After class a bunch of my friends were discussing and joking around this, and I nonchalantly asked them what the law on sodomy is in their countries. One response made me laugh out loud:

"Well, in university we didn't really do much sodomy."

I beg to differ.



---
related news: Iran just executed yet another homosexual, and critcised western countries with same-sex marriages as "the weakness of western culture".

meeting with a minister

(lady with the mike...)

I’m not the biggest fan of the minister for integration and immigration, Rita Verdonk. Under her watch, children asylum seekers have been put in jail, people who’ve been living, some even born, in this country (illegally) for years have been forcibly deported, and at one point she was even on the verge of deporting homosexual Iranians back to their country. Her favourite motto seems to be ‘rules are rules’.

But then as the minister for integration, she has somewhat been more vocal on homosexual affairs than the rest of the cabinet ministers of this centre-right coalition government. Her VVD party (Party for Freedom and Democracy) places Article 1 of the Constitution on non-discrimination on whatever grounds above all else, and this includes sexual orientation.

So with the elections in ten days, she was invited by the biggest ho(mo)le(sbian)bi(sexual)-interest group COC for a ‘meeting with the gay voters’ in Amsterdam. Especially since the discussion was centred around ‘Homosexuality and ethnic minorities’. This I just couldn’t miss.

So I ordered a drink and sat around in the gay lounge/bar. The place was crowded with reporters and journalists and other prominent parliamentarians and ‘the common gay voter’. I was pretty nervous actually, as I always am in ‘strange’ places with strangers. Besides, I really rarely go to gay places, and everyone else seemed to be so much older and were all mingling and chatting in groups or couples. Sat around, fidgeted with my drink, read and re-read the brochures and election pamphlets, and tries to look interested, all the while hoping the show would start soon…

Finally after half an hour the minister showed up…fashionably late. She looked pretty much the same as on TV, though being just a metre away from her made it all the more exciting. A bright, long red scarf wrapped around her neck, dark blazer over a white blouse. As she walked toward the podium, she stopped and chatted to people. Most were friendly and shook hands with her, exchanging chit chat. Though one or two were not so impressed.

“Whoever pays a visit brings a gift”, she began. And she started off almost immediately with a pledge of seven hundred thousand Euros to COC and the National Bureau against Racial Discrimination (Landelijk Bureau ter bestrijding van Rassendiscriminatie). A grand gesture, which sent the audience wild and applauding.

Her ‘masterplan’ is to make homosexuality accepted and discussable in society as a whole, and in particular within ethnic minority groups where a lot of intolerance and misunderstanding exists. As Verdonk said, though 90% of Dutch people accept homosexuality, in reality and practice the situation is much more different. Some 30% of Dutch natives still have a problem having a homosexual friend, whereas this within the Turkish and Morrocan communities stands at a staggering 80% (according to a recent survey in Rotterdam).

This man came on stage and told of his torments when a group of ethnic minority teens set his house on fire. Hate crimes are on the rise, but existing legislation don’t specifically refer to homophobia as one of the causes. So this money will try to combat all that. Applause. Applause.

At one moment this old lady went on stage and gave an impassioned speech about the plight of homosexual seniors. About how lonely they are, about how retirement homes don’t cater for their needs, and how they are the lost and forgotten generation because of the taboos in the past.

Much of the pledged funds will target schools, where a lot of young people still have much problems coming out, and recent reports have revealed that even teachers are going back into the closet. In much rehearsed jargons she reiterated the importance of equality and non-discrimination as the key foundation of ‘virtues and values’ of this country, and that there can be no compromise of these principles. Ethnic groups should be engaged and (made to) accept homosexuality as a norm, just as heterosexuality is accepted. Being gay cannot be a “taboo”, everyone should be able to live freely and openly as they choose to. Surprising, Verdonk says, that some 30% of people still don’t dare to come out at th work place. Why should it matter who you sleep with if you do your job well? The crowd cheered and applauded some more.

I felt at times I was at a party convention, and that this 'meeting with gay voters' was no more than part of a election campaign. Deep down I wondered how much of that money will really improve anything. With my usual sense of cynism, I left after the debate finished.

Waning moon

There are moments you smile to yourself for no reason.

I had one of those moments as I walked out of the library building, the cold night air seeping onto my face, and as little bursts of joy took over. I guess I was delighted that I managed to get a lot of work done today. Straight after class I headed for the 'books' (actually PDF files and online court judgements). Besides occassional breaks for coffee and a stretch, and reading a couple of 'fan mails' here and there, I continued studying till after nine. It was awfully empty when I left the building...but I felt so full of knowledge and ideas for the next assignment I've been slaving away on for the past couple of hours!

On the way home, I had this light, fluttery feeling inside... no, not because of love, but because I was somehow proud of myself... proud of the fact that for my last paper I improved my grade... proud that my writings are touching and helping people in ways I never realised possible... proud that perhaps I just discovered pieces of me that had remained hidden for so long... it's a funny feeling...

One I wish I could share.

Gay leader

While voters in seven US states voted to define marriage as strictly an union between a man and a woman, the next leader of one of the biggest parties in the Dutch parliament may very well be a homosexual.

The incumbent Prime Minister Balkenende said in an interview that there would be no problem for his Christian Democratic Party to be led by the next favourite party-member Joop Wijn. The current minister for Economic Affairs is openly gay, and given the fact that his party may be the biggest party in the upcoming elections, and therefore be leader of the coalition government, there may be a chance that the Netherlands will get a gay prime minister in the future.

Once again I'm confused, perhaps baffled... why is it that the supposed champion of equality and human rights is still in the grips of religious conservatism and unable to separate state from religion, while on the other side of the Atlantic having a gay prime minister is a non-issue?

Just shows there's really more that divides Europe and the USA than just the ocean.

Policy toward homosexuals

In the run up to the parliamentary elections, PvdA (Labour Party) leader Wouter Bos expressed his views in an interview on the need to put homosexuals on the political agenda. As the most likely contender to the position of prime minister, he criticised the incumbent Christian Democrat Jan-Peter Balkenende for his lack of ‘moral leadership’ toward homosexuals. During a trip to Indonesia, the prime minister proudly announced that he had personally voted against the ‘gay marriage’ legislation, whereas he is the very person who has been preaching the importance of ‘virtues and values’, and the need for tolerance and respect for one another.

Wouter Bos:

“The reason why we now have a separate paragraph in our election campaign about homo(sexual) emancipation has to do with the fact that the equality between homo(sexuals) and hetero(sexuals) is no longer self-evident for everyone in the Netherlands. At some schools teachers are going back into the closet, young gays are being bullied and in some neighbourhoods gays are harassed or even threatened. […] Netherlands can be proud that we have as the first country in the world ‘opened’ civil marriage for homo(sexual) couples as well. That really is equal treatment. […] Our example has inspired homosexuals and lesbians in the whole world and (given them) hope. [The Labour Party] will always stand for an undivided and tolerant Netherlands. A country in which everyone gets the same chances, man or woman, young or old, born here or coming from elsewhere, homosexual or heterosexual. And where all those people, with all their differences and all their characteristics, live together on the basis of respect and equality.”

The current Minister for Immigration and Integration, Rita Verdonk, also gave an interview on the issue. Her Party for Freedom and Democracy (VVD) has always insited that Article 1 of the Constitution on non-discrimination is above all other articles, including the freedom of religion. Thus civil servants should not be able to reject performing same-sex marriage registrations. She has also been much criticised in recent months for wanting to deport homosexual Iranian asylum seekers back to their country, where she argued it was safe to be. She focused on the issue of homosexuality in ethnic minorities:

“Homo(sexuals) and hetero(sexuals) have the same rights and deserve mutual respect. Period. That within some groups there is difficulty with homosexuality is also a fact. But exactly because of that it is important to take away the predjudices and continue to talk to one another. It seems to be really terrible if your parents do not accept you as who you are. And it appears in families with Muslims, Christians and Hindus.”

However, she argues that the government is not omnipotent when it comes to the acceptance of homosexuality:

“There can be no misunderstanding about the basic rules of our society. Men and women are just like homo(sexuals) and hetero(sexuals), ‘autochtones’ and ‘allochtones’ equal. […] the government [is not] the big problem solver. You cannot as government declare the acceptance of homosexuality per decree, however much I would like that. It must also come from society itself. Taking your own responsibility and talking to one another is important.”

Dissing drugs~

The Netherlands is perhaps the only country in the world where cannabis (weed/dope/marihuana/hasj) is ‘legal’.

And this has led to some problems, especially with neighbouring countries, and increasing problems of teenage addictions and criminality. To address the problem and appeal to young people to kick the habit, the (ex) minister of Justice, came up with a solution: a rap to ‘dis’ drugs. Since his name is Donner, the rap is called: “The Don”.

In dit land van 16 miljoen mensen.
Heeft iedereen zo zijn eigen wensen.
Waar iedereen wil proberen,
Maar waar je niemand mag beleren.

[In this country of 16 million people

Everyone has his own wishes

Where everyone wants to try,

But where you can’t make anyone learn.]

In dit land van 16 miljoen wijzen,
Vraag ik: wat willen we bewijzen?
De joint, het stickie, maakte ons beroemd,
Maar de nadelen worden niet genoemd.

[In this country of 16 million wise people,

I ask: what do we want to prove?
The joint, the stickie, make us famed,

But the disadvantages are not named.]

Refrein:
Hier spreekt Donner van justi-tie
Ik doe het samen met poli-tie.
Schuif die dope maar aan de kant
Want een addict Nederland
Zijn zaken die ik liever niet-zie

[Refrain:

Donner of Justice speaking here

I do it together with the police.

Move that dope to the side

Because an addicted Netherlands

Are things I’d rather not see.]

Van een blowtje word je duf,
Dus steel de show nou niet zo suf.
Ga die drugs niet badineren,
Wees bereid om iets te leren!

[From a puff you become dull

So don’t dumbly steal the show now.

Don’t go joking around with drugs,

Be prepared to learn something!]

Reguleren is te duur,
Gaan we van zoet toch weer naar zuur
Met criminelen op de loer,
Lijkt dat me niet de juiste tour.

[To regulate is too expensive,

We’re going from sweet to sour.

With criminals on the rise,

That to me is not the right tour.]

Nog meer stekkies onder licht
Dus die achterdeur blijft dicht!
Lijkt het beleid soms wat verward,
Nou in deze ben ik hard...

[Even more plants under the light

So the backdoor remains shut!

Policy appears to be confused sometimes,

Well, in this I’m tough…]

Refrein:
Hier spreekt Donner van justi-tie
Ik doe het samen met poli-tie.
Schuif die dope maar aan de kant
Want een addict Nederland
Zijn zaken die ik liever niet-zie

[Refrain:

Donner of Justice speaking here

I do it together with the police.

Move that dope to the side

Because an addicted Netherlands

Are things I’d rather not see.]

Je ziet die rotzooi overal bloeien
Eigen teelt loopt uit hand
En de bajes blijft maar groeien
Dankzij deze hennep plant

[You see that mess blooms everywhere,

Own plantation out of hand.

And the prisons continue to grow,

Thanks to this hennep plant.]

Slechts een paar worden rijk,
De rest ziet zo bleek als een ...
Dus die zolders moeten leeg,
’t zou niet goed zijn als ik zweeg

[Only a few become rich,

The rest look as pale as a…

So the basements must be emptied,

It wouldn’t be good if I keep quiet.]

Alt. refrein
Hier spreekt Donner van Justitie,
Ik doe het samen met politie.
Ja, de drugs gaan van de straat,
Er komt actie na gepraat.
Blowers, neem daarvan notitie!

[Alt. refrain:
Donner of Justice speaking here

I do it together with the police.

Yes, the drugs are going off the street,

There is action after the talking.

Blowers, take thereof notice!]

Here's the news report about minister‘Donner dissing drugs’.

Technically speaking it’s still illegal to possess or use the cannabis, but the government has since the 1990s enforced this official ‘policy of tolerance’ (gedoogbeleid), whereby law enforcement officers and courts are told to look the other way when it comes to so called soft drugs like cannabis. So the rule is more or less recognised that you can grow 5 cannabis plants ‘for personal use’ at home or have 5grams on you at any given time without breaking any laws. The reason being that the use of cannabis is classified as a public health issue, rather than a criminal matter, provided it’s for your personal use.

'Coffeeshops' all over the country sell soft drugs openly. Anyone over 18 is able to go in and buy what they want, as long as it's not over 5grams. This creates a ridiculous situation whereby it is well known that these coffeeshops hold more than 5 grams of cannabis, and that they must get their supply from somewhere with more than 5 cannabis plants, but police don't really ask questions. So, it's OK for them to store cannabis in quantities to sell in the shops, but if people are caught delivering stocks to the shops, they'll be breaking the law!

With this 'open' policy of tolerance toward soft drugs, use in the Netherlands is actually much less than neighbouring countries. I can tell you, especailly for young people, if you ban something there are more incentives to try and experiment. It's not the drug itself that gives a 'kick', but also knowing that you're breaking the law at the same as well. Most of my friends occasionally use it, but really, nobody gets addicted that easily.

The problem with this 'turn-the-blind-eye' policy is that many people are drawn to the lucrative business of cultivating hennep plants in their own homes, often by 'syphoning' off electricity from the power grid because of the large amounts of light that is needed day and night to make hennep grow well. So recently there's really been a lot of talk about having legalised plantations that are regulated and licensed by the government.

Here's a useful website for those interesting in knowing more about the Dutch policy towards soft drugs

Getting colder...

Finally it's the kind of weather in which whenever you breathe out little clouds of white appear.
It's my favourite kind of weather...something about the dry air makes it all the more refreshing.

After two days of stormy weather, the streets are full of colourful fallen leaves and broken twigs. And today it's what we call here 'wisselvallig' [variable, everchanging] weather. It looks sunny, but look further there are dense grey clouds looming. The sky may be blue one moment, the next it'll be completely clouded over. Rain comes and goes like a random flow of people at the station. And it leaves me sitting in the big empty library shivering.

There are moments of utter stillness, to be interupted suddenly by bombardments of hard drops of rain and hail. The fact that a large part of the roof of law faculty is made out of transparent glass makes it especially enjoyable to look at. Little streams of water, droplets of dew, splashes of rain are a nice are a relaxing change from hard realities of international law on the use of force.

Almost one week has gone by after the mid-term break. The usual routine of classes and studying started again. I had a confidence boost today when I heard that I actually got a 9 (out of 10) for my mid-term exam. Really wasn't expecting it, since when I wrote that exam I really felt I had to 'bluff' my way through. I sort of wrote about anything and everything I know about a given topic, and far exceeded the recommended 100 word we should have used to answer each question. Well, I'm happy.

Besides that, I'm still volunteering one day a week at the moot court organising office. That's really getting busier now, since we're trying to get universities to enter into the competition. And that's just half the work...there's also the problem of trying to get sponsors, finding locations for dinners and a party, finding a caterer, booking hotel rooms for around 200 people. Good that we've got four people sharing the burden. Once the teams have been finalised, and as we get closer to the big event in April, it'll get easier busier...

On the whole, I'm not sure what I'm feeling at the moment... but life has sort of entered into this routine of study and work, work and study and the weeks seem to be passing by so quickly, while at the same time.... so emptily as well. I guess I'm feeling a little lonely again, you know, after a few weeks of the initial excitement of making new friends and socialising, you realise there's only so much you can talk about and only so deep you can go with people.

And when the weather gets colder, you want to get closer.

Increasing intolerance

Hm… worrying trend of increasing intolerance in the Netherlands toward homosexuals reported in the paper today.

In recent weeks there have been repeated incidents of assaults targeted at homosexuals in the country. In one province, a couple of years ago there were only a dozen incidents of homophobia related crimes, now there are a hundred. Especially in and around the big cities, ironically, there have been increasing instances of verbal abuse, and at other times spitting, to the extent that couples don’t dare to walk hand in hand on the streets. Activists say the problem is related to ‘sham tolerance’: “In principle people have no problem with homosexuality, as long as they don’t see anything of it.” At schools, there’s been a noticeable increase in the use of ‘gay’ as a swear word. Teachers report having to tell gay pupils and colleagues to hide their identities for personal protection.

Now that elections are coming up (Nov 22), some parties have taken put in extra effort to raise awareness about homosexual emancipation. The ho-le-bi (homosexual, lesbian and bisexual) organisation COC produced Gayvote—a website which informs voters which party does more for the gay population in general.

As predictable, the Christian parties, despite their claims to uphold virtues and values and championing social decency and unity, do not offer much. Let’s not forget the incumbent prime minister (proudly) admitted that he voted against the act legalising homosexual marriage.

The Labour Party (Partij van de Arbeid) seems to be more active in this area, and wants to introduce harsher punishments for homopobia- related crimes, and wants to work toward the recognition of registered partnership through the European Union. Also GroenLinks (GreenLeft), which has done a lot in the past for the emancipation of homosexuals, started a campaign entitled “Hands off our gays” [“Poten af van onze homo’s”.] The party actually has an English language site worth looking at, and a summary of its activities in the past year (also in English). Did you know:

“The word cruising originates from the Dutch language (‘cruisen’), was exported into American/ English, and re-imported into Dutch.”

The GreenLeft party also produced this revolutionary proposal to abolish the male/female demarcation [in the public sphere]:

“Gender registration is considered to be a proper way to recognise a person. […]The systematic gender registration that we have in our societies only shows that gender is still a basis for discrimination.”

Another gay-interest webpage produced a list of all gays/lesbians who are candidates in the parliamentarian election.

Clingendael

Some nice pictures of Clingendael~
Just love the beautiful mixture of colours that autumn brings...
Click on the links below to access my travelog! : ) Enjoy!

• Clingendael
• Clingendael II
• Clingendael III
• Clingedael IV
• Clingendael V
• Clingendael VI

Wild conference

I've never been to a more lively conference in my life before.

Didn't go to bed until after 2am last night, working on the next chapter of LYLM. So imagine how sleepy I was waking up at 7ish to get showered and dressed up for this conference entitled "International Law and the Question of Western Sahara". It was one of these events that our lecturer "strongly encouraged" us to attend. But only one other person in my class was there.

I guess a bit of 'background' is necessary to explain what this is all about.
Western Sahara is a piece of terrirtory on the Northeast African coast, currently under Morrocan occupation. The Saharawi (people of the territory) have been claiming their right to self-determination since the seventies, when the colonial power Spain basically (like in many decolonialisation contexts) simply abandoned the territory. Morroco invaded, and has been occupying it since. In 1976, the International Court of Justice gave an advisory opinion which decided that Morroco and Mauritania have no legal ties to the territory, and that the people of Western Sahara must still realise their right to self-determination. Deportations, grave human rights abuses, intimidation, construction of (Morrocan) settlements and a wall...the situation is somewhat akin to the Palestinian Occupied Territories, with the occupying power illegally annexing territory rightfully belonging to the indigenous people, in contravention to international law.

Well, I turned up and sat down... the first presentations were somewhat slow and made me doze off... then things took a turn. Unsolved issues are often unsolved because they're controversial, and certainly when law and politics are often so closely intertwined, people are going to be personally interested and affected in what is said. A number of people were all too eager to take the microphone and contradict what the speakers said. 'Contradict' is perhaps mild...more like attack, deface, and accuse speakers of lying and spreading propoganda. English, Arabic, Spanish, Italian, French all mingled together like scene from 'Lost in Translation'. Throwing fits, raising their voices and hands. It was an academic exchange out of hand, at some points, with people interrupting and shouting across the room, accusing the organisers of being impartial and biased. Swear words were used... 'f*ck off', said a speaker to an unruly person from the audience. On two other occassions, someone said that the UN "had f*cked my country over". My friends and I sat there astounded, and were actually getting very afraid someone might just pull out a machine gun and go on a shooting spree. Security guards and police came and stayed around for the rest of the day.

At the end we were all exhausted... not once did I doze off again, and sat in my seat, transfixed to the heated exchanges and remarks. To be fair, the conference overall was delightfully educational, especially presentations by many leading scholars in the field. Of course we're no more closer to a solution, and the people of Western Sahara are probably no more closer to reaching complete independence, but at least it was (for the most bit) constructive dialogue. And it's these kind of dialogue, communcation, mutual understanding that are necessary to avoid misunderstanding and eventually work toward an acceptable, peaceful, and democratic solution acceptable to all. Given that my alma mater, SOAS, is the specialist in Asian/African affairs, no less than three scholars were present there, which made me somewhat proud.

I guess the problem with places like Western Sahara, Palestine, West Papua, or some might even argue Tibet and Chechnya (for a whole list, see Unrepresented Nations and Peoples Organisation), is that we all know and recognise the inherent rights of the people living there to self-determination, and eventual independence. But really, politics, and more specifically real politics and superpower politics trump over people's rights. Blatant violations of international law, horrendous abuses of human rights and absolutely indisputed illegal acts of occupation are viewed with such complacency and indifference, because the interested parties are unwilling to surrender their self-interests. And who suffers most of all, as in all games of power play? It is the people. The millions of men, women and children subjected to incessant violence, grievous violations and brutal deaths, while a select few bicker, confer and argue.

( Disclaimer:
Opinions expressed are entirely my own and are partial and may have been dramatised. In no way should it be taken as an accurate account of the events that occurred and/or opinions expressed at the conference.)

Subtle approach

Subtle is good. Subtle is less provocative, but nonetheless sometimes revealing. And I like subtle approaches.

I recently signed up to Facebook, an online network which allows you to link up with your friends and keep up-to-date on what they're up to. You can post pictures, write notes, and see who the friends of your friends are. You can also join 'networks', or interest groups that you feel appeals to you. So far I've joined the groups:"If you hate SOAS, transfer to a lower ranking school", "When I was your age, Pluto was a planet.", "Amnesty International "...and I came across "Gay? Who me?" and "Homophobia is Gay".

As much as I'd like to sign up immediately, I hesitated a little. The first group would without doubt out me to the rest of my (mostly new-found) friends at uni. I don't think I'm ready to be bombarded with questions and/or (perhaps) negative reactions at this point. The second one could be suggesting something, but just enough to keep them guessing, and wondering...And I like that, or at least, that is better than a 'straight' confrontation. So I signed up to the second group... for now. Together with a rainbow flag they can find in my personal photo album, maybe my friends are clever enough to put two and two together.

Maybe I'm not totally comfortable with myself yet, and somewhat afraid of rejection. Originally I had intended to tick in my personal bio that I'm interested in men, but shelved that idea in the end as being too (for the lack of a better word) straightforward. But I guess by subtly revealing something personal about myself I'm sort of bold at the same time. We'll see what happens.

say quack if you're gay

I'm not dead yet...

Came across this strange 'scientific' reserach into "homosexual necrophilia in the mallard" ... conducted by a Dutchperson (who else?)

"On 5 June 1995 an adult male mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) collided with the glass façade of the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam and died. An other drake mallard raped the corpse almost continuously for 75 minutes. Then the author disturbed the scene and secured the dead duck. Dissection showed that the rape-victim indeed was of the male sex. It is concluded that the mallards were engaged in an ‘Attempted Rape Flight’ that resulted in the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard."

Living with strangers

We don't really talk, the three of us. Living under one roof, but I do my own thing, whereas they're always together doing their thing. I think the last time my brother spoke to me was almost three weeks ago. Without saying a word, they just left to go out to dinner with friends, whereas they were supposed to be cooking tonight for a change! It's not so much not cooking, but the fact of not telling me at all and having to go hungry till almost nine...

Just beacuse we don't talk doesn't mean I don't need to put up with their mess. Every day I go into the kitchen, living room and bathroom to find used plates, cigarette buds, toothpaste stains. I'm not a clean freak, but at least clean and clear away after you're finished with something. Papers lying here and there, pots and pans unwashed for days lying around, things used but not put back in place, box of biscuits with nothing but the empty packaging left in the cupboard ...and recently a cup of coffee which had been sitting in the same place for I don't know how many weeks and gone moudly.

I've stopped cleaning up after them. Why should I do that, only to come back home at the end of the day and see the place filthy again? How old are these people already? I'm on strike.

It'd be so much easier living by myself.

Netherlands safe for (Iranian) homosexuals!

After wrangling on for months on whether it is safe to deport two Iranian homosexuals back to Iran, the minister for Immigration and Integration FINALLY decided that it is not. She did this on the basis of a letter from Human Rights Watch, which stated that the Netherlands would be in breach of its international obligations should the Iranians be sent back. Back in February, Minister Verdonk ridiculously suggested that “simply keeping one’s sexuality covert and one’s selfhood hidden is a safe and acceptable response to the likelihood of persecution.”

What kind of persecution do homosexuals face in Iran?

“Iran is distinguished by the overt severity of the penalties it imposes on consensual, adult homosexual conduct. “Sodomy” or lavat—consummated sexual activity between males, whether penetrative or not—is punishable by execution. (Article 111 of the Islamic Penal

Code states that “Lavat is punishable by death so long as both the active and passive partners are mature, of sound mind, and have acted of free will.”) Tafkhiz (the rubbing together of thighs or buttocks or other forms of non-penetrative “foreplay” between men) is punishable by one hundred lashes for each partner, according to Articles 121 and122 of the Penal Code. Recidivism is punishable by death on the fourth conviction. In addition, Article 123 of the Penal Code further provides that “If two men who are not related by blood lie naked under the same cover without any necessity,” each one will receive ninety-nine lashes. Articles 127 to 134 stipulate that the punishment for sexual intercourse between women is one hundred lashes and if the offense is repeated three times, the punishment is execution.”

I don’t think anyone with a vague understanding of the Iranian regime and its stringent application of Sharia would doubt that sending back Iranian homosexuals is the same as a death sentence.

“As is well known, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini in 1979 called for homosexuals to be extirpated as “parasites and corruptors of the nation” who “spread the stain of wickedness.” In a further sign of the general judicial attitude to homosexual conduct, Ayatollah Musavi-Ardebili, at the time the head of the Supreme Council of Judiciary, said in a sermon delivered in 1990 at Teheran University: “For homosexuals, men or women, Islam has prescribed the most severe punishments… Do you know how homosexuals are treated in Islam? After it has been prov[en] on the basis of Shari’ah, they should seize him [or her]…they should keep him standing, they should split him in two with a sword, they should either cut off his neck or they should split him from the head. He will fall down. They get what they deserve” (BBC Monitoring, May 21, 1990).”

A year ago two Iranian teens were hanged for being homosexual. Despite this, the minister earlier this year said there was no threat posed to people to be sent back to Iran. Because of this, the minister won herself a place in HRW's Hall of Shame. Under pressure from Parliament and the public she had to freeze the deportation order. It was feared that granting asylum on the grounds of homosexuality would flood the country with those who declare themselves to be gay overnight. COC, the largest holebi interest group in the Netherlands, says this is ridiculous:

“With this decision it is ridiculous to think that tomorrow dozens of Iranians [will stand] at the border with the claim of being gay. Many Dutch gays find it difficult enough to tell them surroundings that they are gay or lesbian. Let alone if you as a straight man come from a completely homophobic country like Iran and have to, through an interpreter from your own country, tell to a government official in the Netherlands with a straight face that you have feelings for people of the same sex.”

The minister decided that “homosexual asylum seekers who have to fear persecution or risk inhuman treatment at return, are eligible for a residence permit”.

It feels like a break...

I can put away the 700+ course book away for now. Just had a mid term test this morning, and despite having just slept four and something hours last night I feel suprisingly 'alive'. One more long, busy day tomorrow, and it's a week of Autumn Break! : )

I guess the test went alright. It's International Relations, one of those courses in which you can sort of get a passing grade if you know a thing or two about current affairs, history and international politics. Besides the technical stuff about theories of realism, liberalism the rest seems like 'general knowledge'. Though that didn't mean it was that easy. It's been over five years since I had a 'test' (technically not exam), and I, and others, really had difficulty knowing how much to write and what to write.

Ten questions, 90minutes, and we were supposed to write 100 words for each question. How do you discuss whether the post-Cold War order is based on world or international order and discuss the differences in 100words? How do you assess the disadvantages and advantages (there are advantates!!) of nuclear proliferation, and refer to North Korea specifically? Or even debate about the difference between the European Union and other regional arrangements, as well as analyse the 'final goal' of European integration in just as few words? I just wrote and wrote what I knew, using one side of A4 for each question, and with my handwriting that's a couple of hundred words per answer!

After a quick bit to eat, two friends and I decided to 'relax' and try catach a movie to kill time before this fascinating extracurricular lecture tonight. We walked from cinema to cinema, but in the little town of Leiden cinemas don't open till 19.00! Shocked, horrified and bored we walked a bit more...and actually ended up in... church. A really beautiful Calvinist church, completely spacious and empty on the inside, and by the looks of it you can hire the church for all sorts of events. On a picture I saw people having a dinner party, with wine and all, right in the main hall. In a month's time the International Whisky Festival will be held there too. This is, after all, the Netherlands, where literally anything goes.

Some people today were talking about Facebook today, and how wonderful it is. It's basically an online "social utility that connects you with the people around you", where you can search and connect with (long-lost) friends, and meet new ones. I've signed up, and part of the 'personal details' asks whether you're interested in 'man or woman'. I'm just thinking if this would be a place to subtly 'come out' if I just tick 'man'. I mean my friends will be able to see all the details, and if they look closely enough they might see and find out. I've heard many secrets are revealed and spread on this thing, and I'm not really bothered if words get out. But then I wonder how they would take it. Really inclined to do so...

Really looking forward to this little break. Time to catch up on some reading, get prepared for up-coming assignments, comment in my blog on issues I've been dying to write about, work further on "Loving you, loving me"...and of course, relax a little! Maybe take a trip outdoors...get out into nature and the wild. Something I miss, even though the last couple of weeks since term started has been pretty wild enough.

Who is that?

Funny feeling I felt today.

Stood in front of the mirror and I smiled.
Full lips, two deep dimples.
Soft eyes, carrying a silent shyness,
Boyish charms, and floating on an air of warmth.
Wild hair, trimmed short and stylish.
Smooth skin, adorned with a sweet little smile.

Who was this I was looking at?
Or better said,
Who was this looking at me?

Someone I'm liking,
More and more.

Dutch directness

I was just talking with someone in my class, casually, small talk, and one thing led to another...

"...yeah, I've been basically living alone since I was like 13," I said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Oh, it must be lonely. Or maybe not so much with a girlfriend?" After a slight pause she continued ,"Or maybe a boyfriend. You know in the Netherlands it can be girlfriend or boyfriend."
I squirmed a little and my mind wondered what to say. The only thing that I could say was a weak "Yes..."
"So do you like girls or boys?"
I hesitated slightly, wondering whether the truth could come out. And I knew what to do. I knew I had to be true. And it came out. "I prefer boys."
"That's good. I understand. I won't tell anyone," she said sympathetically and winked.
I smiled back, a little relieved, a little proud, a little flustered, a little out. "When people ask, I tell."

The rest of my (English-speaking) friends sat around us, all engaged in their conversation. Perhaps they were too busy talking and listening to even notice the significance of what I just said, and the meaning of what I just revealed. But a part of me inside felt it was unfortanate the dialogue was in Dutch.

Assignment

He was pretty upset and disappointed, our lecturer. After having marked our first papers, it seemed obvious that some of the people in class are not taking this study seriously enough. The average was below a six (out of ten), and he'd been lenient not to give any mark lower than a four.

The next ten minutes were spent laying out the common mistakes. Poor citations, poor use of footnotes, poor sources (some people actually used Wikipedia)... bad and groundless arguments, irrelevant discussions of history and politics. It was an assignment discussing the law surrounding Palestine's right to self-determination and statehood, pure and simple. And if people had been paying attention in the lectures and tutorials there was really no excuse to get a poor grade. Some 'creative' person included a cartoon in the paper, which caused our lectuerer to sarcastically point out that the art faculty is down the road. Another stuck a sticker bearing the Palestinian flag on the front page.

I sat there wondering whether this is still the masters class I had enrolled myself on. I mean basic paper writing are skills taught and drilled into you since the very first day of undergrad studies. A paper must have a beginning, a middle and an end. You take (an) argument(s), discuss it, support it, compare it, contrast it, and reach your own conclusion. You use authoritive sources, cases, resolutions, academic articles, legal journals to back up your arguments. You include footnotes, references, a bibligraphy...and most important of all, you include your name in the paper. If you don't know this, how can you even be prepared to start writing a 20,000word dissertation towards the end of the year?

As a result the next assignment will be even more strict. To avoid people writing useless and irrelevant political and historical analysis, the word limit has been cut to 1200words. A bunch of us, who had finished the paper already, protested. No use, since we, the class as a whole, must learn, and there can be no exceptions. Which means I'll now have to spend more time trimming my essay, whereas I've got a mid-term test next week as well.

Not happy...

snapshots

Saturday 14 Oct 2006
He sat in his wheelchair, his hands fidgeting with pieces of crumpled paper. I always see him when I work on Saturdays. Always alone, just by the entrance to the retirement home, with swollen, tired, red eyes, a wrinkled and haggard face bearing the marks of old age and scars. But it was only today I noticed that he only had one leg. The trunk of the trouser was rolled up to cover the stump of his missing leg.

I grabbed my bags of post, hauled it over to my bike. As I jumped, ran, and sprinted around delivering mail in the street, I thought of the old man watching me from his wheelchair. Perhaps my youthful strength, my ability to walk and go anywhere was a constant stab in his heart, a constant reminder of what he had lost.

I always greet him when I see him, and wish him well whenever I go leave again, half expecting, and half knowing that the same time next week he might very well be there. Or he might not.

Friday 13 October 2006
The train pulled away slowly, the gentle rocking motion enticing me to close my eyes and doze for the ten minutes or so I had before Leiden. The clinking and clanking of the rails was an upbeat, rhytmic beat.

Silently we sped out of the urban sprawl and into the countryside. I looked outside and what a sight. Green meadows covered with a mystic veil of morning mist, looking like clouds that had fallen, fallen to earth. The mist cloud hung low above the ground, suspended in mid-air as if time had stopped, and shrouded the trees and streams flashing by in a thin sheeth of pure white. Is this what heavens looks like? Sleep left, and instead I was captured by the view outside the window. Everyone else had their heads down, buried in their books and papers, or in deep slumber.

I wondered who else noticed the beauty that vanished before us outside...beauty that will never be the same again.



Thursday 12 October 2006
In the middle of the train station, rush hour. People rushed mindlessly on their way to and fro, minding their own business, passing one another as if everyone else was invisible.

I walked amongst the crowd, a little dazed, a little lost. Suddenly from nowhere a man started yelling. I turned to see a man shouting at a woman, and the woman screaming abuse back. And in the corner a little kid, perhaps not more than five, howling and crying. Perhaps the grownups were the parents, but they were too busy hurling angry and swear words at each other to notice how red the kid's eyes had gotten. Their screams and shouts drowned out the cries. Their words overshadowed the tears.

I walked away slowly, more dazed, more lost.

Silent night

22.15
Just came home from uni. On the way back I walked passed this forest. It's one of those still, silent nights, cold but not too cold, misty but not too misty, one of those nights that everything just seems about right. Even my mood.

Yeah, it's been a long day at work and uni. Started off with a meeting of my colleagues at the moot court organising committee, then headed into the library just after lunch to quickly get through the reading for today's lecture. At one point, our dramatic lecturer burst into song as he explained, more as an 'aside', how at the signing of the NATO Treaty the accompanying banddeliberately played songs by George Gershin's "It ain't necessarily so". Just reading the lyrics, and putting it in the Cold War context, I realised why:

Li'l David was small, but oh my !
Li'l David was small, but oh my !
He fought Big Goliath
Who lay down an' dieth !
Li'l David was small, but oh my !

Well, after the lecture and a quick bite to eat it was library time. Spent a lot of time discussing the paper with my friends, like good lawyers we are, construing the meaning behind the words. At first glance, the assignment seems easy enough: who, out of the three suspected states of Lebanon, Syria and Iran, is attributable for the acts of Hezbollah's attacks on Israel.

Given the facts, and what we know from the international case law, it seemed like it was easy to just apply the rules. But which rules, how, to what extent, in what context...? All sorts of questions starting coming up. On the face of it, it seemed like an easy assignment. A state is attributable for acts of private groups if it can be proven that the state has "control" over that group. But what is the extent of the control? Nicaragua says "effective control", meaning that mere financing and sponsoring with armaments is not enough. You need to be issuing direct orders and instructions to that militant group to be in "effective control". But another case, Tadic, holds the control need only be "overall control"...meaning a state need not be directing or issuing orders to be held attributable for acts of a militant group like Hezbollah. And we've not even discussed whether under the new international legal regime in the 'War on Terror' whether states 'sponsoring' or 'harbouring' terrorism will be attributable for carried acts by militant groups which cause international wrongs.

Spent the past weekend with my head stuck between the cases, legal texts and academic articles...and the more you read, the more questions you have, the more you can interpret and re-interpret the words of the assignment in another way, which gives rise to a whole new rule and application of that rule. Are we making this more complicated than it really is, and giving ourselves more work than is actually required? Will the lecturer even notice how much thought, work and effort is being put into this assignment? One cynic calculated that each paper we write actually only counts 3% of the total mark of the whole masters programme. Which makes you wonder if it's worth the many moments of conceptualising, footnoting, editing, comparing, contrasting and wrangling word games.

After almost one and a half hours of discussion, arguing, we were no further than we were when we started....but we agreed on one thing: we need to read more, brush up on our supporting arguements and will reconvene tomorrow. Court is now in recess, and will open then. Again.